Sex and Relationships - What do you know?

"Someone had sex with me when I was drunk - I think they were sober. Was I raped?"
Yes, you were raped. You could not legally consent.
No, you weren't raped. You could have said no.
"I had sex with my girlfriend, but she didn't actually say "Yes", she just went along with it... Did she actually consent?"
No, not legally - but as long as you are both happy with the outcome then there is no reason for it to be seen as an issue.
Yes, there is nothing in British law that says consent has to be verbal - just clear.
"If we're having sex and he starts to look nervous and unsure, what should I do?"
He's already consented, he's probably just worrying about something else!
Stop and ask him if he's okay, make sure he's still happy to continue.
"I offered to walk him home after a night out drinking... He passed out when we got to his flat, was it still okay for me to have sex with him?"
Yes, after all you went out of your way to make sure he got home safely.
No, by definition of British law he could not legally consent as he was unconscious.
"I had sex whilst I was really drunk and now I'm being accused of rape - I'm sure she said yes but I can't remember. Am I guilty?"
Yes, alcohol and other drugs can impede our ability to remember and rationalise. You should be 100% sure that she had consented.
No! If you can't remember, that's not your fault. They were probably just as drunk as you!
"I sent a sext to my boyfriend but I'm only sixteen, I'm worried the police will find them. Will I get in trouble?"
Yes - It is illegal to sext if you or your partner are under the age of eighteen.
No - it's only a picture!
"My brother was raped, but every time I try to get him to talk about it, he gets angry because I ask too many questions. What should I do?"
Leave him alone, he's being ungrateful. You're trying to be there for him and he's throwing it back at you.
Be patient, and step back. It takes a lot of courage to talk about assault and rape, and too many questions can bring up memories they aren't ready to talk about.
"My friend was raped on her way home from work, but she won't tell her boyfriend because she's scared he'd accuse her of cheating. What can I do or say?"
Assure her that you believe her, and that you'll support her if she builds up the courage to tell him.
Tell her that she needs to tell him, or you will.
"My friend's boyfriend raped him, and he thinks it was his fault - what can I do to help?"
Don't blame him. Comfort him, and assure him that it was not his fault.
Try and find out if it was his fault - what was he wearing and doing? And why didn't he fight back?
"I want to help my sister, she was raped. But every time we talk about it, we both end up in messes of tears. What can I do?"
That's just how things happen - You'll both cry because it's difficult to talk about. There's nothing else you can really do.
Support her as much as you can, but don't over-exert yourself - lead her to survivor support websites and landlines for professional support.
"I lost my virginity and I'm worried about how other people will see me. What do I do?"
Virginity is a social and historical concept - but your body is your own and no-one else's business.
You don't have to tell anyone that you lost your virginity! It can be your own little secret!
"I want to have sex with my girlfriend, neither of us have ever done it - but I'm scared I'm going to hurt her, or make her bleed."
The important thing is not to rush, and to take your time. If either of you start to feel uncomfortable, slow down or stop. She may bleed, but this doesn't mean that you've necessarily hurt her, and completely depends on her own biology.
Everyone's first time is bound to hurt! Just get on with it.
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