Understanding Emotions and Support

*TW suicidal thoughts and self harm*

 

This is to tell everyone what's been going on, and yes I know some will not want to hear about this but I need to speak.

 

So last year when I found out I was a Lesbian (before I changed to bi) I went through a lot of body shaming and bullying. That made me hate myself so much (yes I almost committed suicide) and feel powerless against everyone. Then I met my best friend, Maggie Ridge, she helped me through all those dark and scary times. So I lost the interest to do that because I felt good about myself. Then that one day last year I wore a dress to school, haha, all you need to know is I did self harm that afternoon. This year, after I met Astrid and she helped me feel confident enough to wear a dress again, when Alexis came up to me and said "Why did you call me b*tchy?" I sat there like wtf is going on I never said that. After she did that I started crying because I am a VERY sensitive person so you know, I cried. The worst part about that was that I felt uncomfortable in my dress and didn't want to wear it anymore for picture day, but I had no choice but to wear it. After we take pictures Alexis came up to me and said, "I'm sorry if I offended you or whatever." and walked away. I got back to class and was so f*cked up from what she said when I was in science stabbed my pencil in my arm until I bled or at least until it left a bruise. I put my sweater on and had a look on my face like, 'omfg wth did I just do?' During lunch I told Astrid and Dain what I did and I forced Astrid to take my pencil away so I would stop (I did it again in RA). So basically that is what has been going on for over a year now. I'm telling you this now so you don't go through what I went through. Yes, I may be suicidal but guys it's not as if I've lost my mind! Also I always think about the aftermath of all of this. If I died who would look after all of you knuckleheads.