What to do if..?

What to do if...you are absent?
Stay in bed and have a little sleep.
Contact Student Services by 8.30am and leave a message.
Email class teachers asking for the work you have missed.
Ask someone to give you a hug.
What to do if...you have a study period?
Go to White Rose for KFC.
Go to White Rose for McDonalds.
Go to White Rose for Bagel Nash.
Make use of the facilities at college to STUDY.
What to do if...you are late and you have a lesson?
Post about your woes on social media.
Go immediately to your lesson.
Apologise to your teacher and explain why you are late.
Wait until your next lesson starts and attend this instead.
If my attendance is below 85%...
...I may lose my place at college.
...I may not be entered for my exams.
...I may achieve a whole grade less than I am capable of.
...I will be spending a lot of time with my Head of Alliance.
What to do if...you find yourself in possession of Voldemort's final horcrux?
Destroy it and take him down.
Find Harry, and ask him to do it for you.
Don't ask me, I'm just a muggle.
Go to the library and find Hermione, she'll know what to do.
What to do if...you want to see a careers advisor?
Contact Professor McGonagall
Book a session with Miss Honey
Send an email to Sir Alan Sugar
Make an appointment with Mrs Medlock
What to do if...your driving test clashes with a lesson?
Collect from Student Services, and complete, an LoA form for the missing lessons. See teachers and catch up work.
Worry relentlessly about your test and forget about lessons.
Tell your tutor that you won't be in for those sessions.
Speak to your HoA about the matter, and hope they authorise the absence.
What to do if...you wish to raise an issue which you think affects the student body?
Speak to your Alliance SU Representative
Graffiti the toilets with words of protest.
Speak to your Head of Alliance.
Complain about it on twitter.
What to do if...you have forgotten your ID card?
Report to Student Services, sign in, and get a visitors pass.
Cross your legs all day, as there'll be no toilet access.
Go straight to your lesson.
Report to Reception, sign in, and get a visitors pass.
What to do if...your name is pulled out from the tributes?
Hope your sister volunteers for you.
Run away into the woods.
Sharpen your arrow heads and kick some ass!
Pledge allegiance to President Snow and hope he lets you off.
What to do if...you need to update your contact details?
Write them down on a piece of paper and hand them in at reception.
Go to Student Services and have them updated immediately.
Send out a group WhatsApp to your friends and make sure they know where to find you.
SnapChat...obvs!
What to do if...you have a personal problem that you need to talk to someone about?
Talk to your teacher.
Talk to your Head of Alliance
Talk to your tutor.
Talk to any member of staff that you can...don't keep it to yourself.
What to do if...you do not feel well during the college day, and need to go home?
Call an ambulance and see if they'll take you at speed.
Leave the site and call when you get home to let college know you have left.
Tell your teachers, see your HoA for permission to leave.
Collect work from your teachers so that you can catch up.
What to do if...you lose something?
Hope it turns up.
Go to Student Services or Reception.
Retrace your steps around college.
Ask your friends if they have seen it.
Offer its market value as reward for its safe return.
Take someone else's stuff, eye for and eye and all that...
What to do if...you find yourself in a kingdom of isolation?
Be the good girl you always have to be.
Put on your crown...looks like you're the queen.
Don't let them in, don't let them see.
LET IT GO!
Let the storm rage on.
Conceal, don't feel.
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