So you think you're a Front Range Mountain Biker?

Level 1 - Green Mountain: Check all that apply to you.

I drive an Audi, Tacoma or Subaru.

I replace my brake pads at least once per year due to heavy yielding to uphill traffic.

I own riding apparel featuring the Colorado flag.

I've posted in MTBR - Front Range.

I own more than 2 pint glasses featuring local breweries.

I've almost collided with another trail user.

When I pass a stopped rider I ask "Got everything you need?"

I've had a bike stolen from a garage or vehicle in Denver suburbia (If so, sorry to hear about your bike. May they burn in hell)

I've gotten a ticket for being parked at an Open Space trailhead after dark.

I've attended a "cruiser ride" in Boulder, Denver or Fort Collins.

I've posted a BLAS (Bikes Leaning Against Shit) pic on 303 Trail Monitor.

I've attempted to make my significant other a mountain biker.

Level 3 - Dakota Ridge: Check all that apply to you.

Me and my partner refer to the non-menstruating portion of the month as "G2G"

I ride a bike made by Guerrilla Gravity.

I've gotten trail side lovin' on Front Range open space property. Said lovin' included at least one other person besides myself.

I've cleaned every feature on Blackjack.

I've gotten on trail lovin' on Front Range open space property. Solo acts included.

I've ridden more than 40mi (majority was dirt) on the Front Range during a single ride.

I've vomited on Front Range open space property.

I've cleaned the Hall Ranch rock garden (Lower Bitterbrush) uphill.

I volunteered to help build the new Little Scraggy trail.

Select any following acts of douchebaggery that apply to you...

I am a fattypants knob jockey and can't obey simple yielding rules.

I am an assclown turd burglar who passes trail users off-trail.

I participate in the online circle jerk known as Strava AND pass hikers at high speeds during KOM/QOM attempts.

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