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Which Pfuckboi are You?

What is your catchphrase?
Fuck off
What the shit?
In Turkish we have a saying...
Bloody hell
I have consulting work to do
RRRRRRRIP
Where do you shop?
Zadig and Voltaire
Literally anywhere else
Who's your dream husband/wife?
A Russian oligarch
Overbaked Italian bread
The German guy
Taylor Swift
An ec concentrator
Someone who will get me a green card
Pick a Spotify playlist.
Nike Just Do It.
Praise & Worship Songs
This is: Coldplay
This is: Britney Spears
Teen Party!
Wild Country
What your friends describe you as?
A figment of their imagination
Dad-like
Kind
Sassy
Lightweight
Polite
Fierce
If you were a literary character, who would you be?
Hamlet
Lady Macbeth
Luna Lovegood
Gregor Samsa
Don Quixote
Desdemona
Madame Bovary
Dorian Grey
Ulysses
If you were grading p-sets, how many points would you take off?
0.25
0
Pick your poison:
Harry Lewis
David Malan
Zwingli
Martin Luther
Putin
Mankiw
What would your memoir be called?
My Life in Dildos: A Memoir
In Turkish We Have A Phrase: Please
How I Was Victimized by Fucking Alison
The Day Drew Faust Ruined the Bananas
Fuck the Government
This Club is Great if You Can't Feel Your Face
Diablo Exclamation Mark!
Which portrait in Annenberg do you identify with?
The dude who died from tuberculosis
Does John count?
John Adams
The ceiling fan
Shakespeare
The dude that looks like Maleficent
Who dafuq is Sir Philip Sidney?
What class would you teach?
How to take back the bananas for the proletariat: a study of fruit dialectics
Rabbit Anatomy
To stalk and be stalked: A Tour of Social Media Stalking from Facebook to Venmo
Nudity 101
How to be an Australian Narc
How to Live Without an iPhone
How to Drink Evian Water in the Comfort of Your Own Bed
What are you most likely to be doing at any given time?
Saying that you have "a lot of consulting work"
Procrastinating
Drinking excessively
Sodomizing western men
I don't know, but I won't be wearing clothes
Facetiming Judy
Selling fake drugs
If you sold drugs, what drug would you sell?
Evian
Flaxseed
Cocaine
Tums
Something that makes you not feel your face (?)
Edamame
Can you drive?
Yes
No
Only in a suzuki
*hits pedestrian*
*hits pedestrian in a suzuki*
What tea fits your personality?
Turkish apple tea
Fuze raspberry iced tea from Dannenberg
*prevents Alzheimer*
Earl grey
Coffee
Alcohol
What club are you most likely to join?
The AD because my dad was in it
The Spee
The Advocate
Texas Club
Astronomy Club
The 'Poon
South Korean Baptist Club
Pick a vacation destination
It's "holiday," not "vacation"
Canaday
A forest
London
The Caribbean
Singapore
If you were an animal, what animal would you be?
Turtle
Syn-ake
Rabbit
Wombat
Owl
Plant
Bird
Peacock
SCOBY
What American Girl Doll would you be?
Kristen/Kirsten
Samantha
Addie
Molly
Josefina
Julie
Kaya
What would you dress as for Halloween?
Sexy Endowment
Pfuccboi
Sexy Steve Jobs
Mob Wife
Kate Moss
Derek Zoolander
Brokeback Mountain
SCOBY
What are you always threatening to do?
Fight someone
Join the Lampoon
Send the KGB after you
Finish your expos essay
Go to Brown for the weekend
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