What character from Rhinoceros are you?

If you're on a deserted island and could only take one thing, what would you take
Alcohol - whats the point of being on an island if you cant be drunk?
A comb - I don't care if I'm alone, I have to look good!
My partner - if I have my true love, nothing else matters
Nothing - Is this really an island or are you lying?
Your friends ask you if you want to go out on a Friday night
Only if we can have intellectual conversations - otherwise why would I bother?
I'll go if theres a lot of people - we'll surely meet more too
Is there alcohol? - If so definitely
If you can tell me why we should I'll consider it - (I probably wont)
Work starts at 9:00 am, what time are you arriving?
9:00 - I will get there when I need to but no earlier
10:00 - who cares about start times, they're merely a formality
8:55 - a bit early so I don't upset the boss
8:30 - punctuality is most important
You're asked to help your friend dress for a party, what advice do you give?
Who cares what you wear - everybody will be drunk and wont notice you
Wear something neat and tidy - first impressions matter
Is the person you like going to be there? - if so dress up
Why should I care what you wear? - Its not my party
What's most important to you?
Going against the majority - why be like everyone else?
Looking clean and tidy - I dress to impress
The love of my life - whats life without love?
Myself - obviously
What's your ideal companion?
A hairless cat - they don't make a mess and wont mess up my clothes
I don't need a pet of any sort - I have myself
A bottle of Jack Daniels - that'll never let me down
I don't want a pet - I just want my soulmate
You're helping a friend prepare for a job interview - you tell them to
Have a drink - it'll take the edge off
Make sure they have a nice outfit - looking sharp will get them the part
Be on alert - is this job really what you want?
Be yourself - don't feel bad if you don't get the job
You're in the street and see a homeless man with only a bottle of alcohol, what do you do?
Cross to the other side of the street - he looks scruffy
You feel awful - give him your lunch and some money
Steal his alcohol - why would a homeless guy need to be drunk?
Who cares - I'm not giving him my hard earned money!
You just got a bonus at work! What do you spend it on?
I treat my friends - they always support me, its time to show my appreciation
I save it - you shouldn't spend money just because you have it
I go straight to the pub - beer on tap for me!
I buy something for myself - I might show it off too
After a long day of work, what are you watching?
A rom-com - I love love
A true crime - I love analysing everyone
A comedy - I like to wind down with a laugh
I don't watch anything - I have no care for that kind of entertainment
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