You are the swamp king. Can you kill a bird?

This is you

You are the swamp king

You are the ruler of this lovely swamp, all of the creatures here are ambivalent towards you but they leave you alone so you pretty much run the place

Well your swamp is in danger!! This strange metal bird has been flying around for a week and it keeps stealing creatures from the swamp!

You need to find help! Where will you look?

On a rock you find some no good looking teenagers, eugh you hate teenagers, better go deeper

A friendly worm! Looks like he wants to shake your hand!

EY YOU GEEZER, we don't want you around 'ear.

It's Steve!

Oh no

It wants you to want it to eat you

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

You pass out from the pain

ZZZZzzzzzZZZZzzzzx

ZZZZzzzz... WAKE UP

By Jove I am TERRIBLY sorry about that! My reflexes kicked in and I couldn't stop my jaws before biting your hand clean off!

Please let me help you, I'll show you the way to a doctor!

The swamp creature turns and swims towards the shore and you follow him with haste

YO IT"S ME DOCTOR FROG, IT"S TIME TO FIX UP THAT HAND THERE KID

You start wading towards the shore when you see it, a snake that looks like it's choking on something!

I'm so glad you'll help! I need to get this blood to my family, and fast! Can you carry me?

You pick up the frog and carry him along the swamp till you reach a small frog cottage. "Quick, Hand me that needle"

Thanks! Now let me introduce you to my family while I inject them!

Here's Uncle Broth!

John The Submerged

The frog twins!

Grandpa

Up close steve

Cousin A.B. Sheldon

Aaaaand Gorgoth: Destroyer of Worlds

AND THAT"S MY FAMILY< IF THERE"S EVER ANYTHING WE CAN DO FOR YOU< JUST LET ME KNOW>

Name it!

Absolutely! How can he help?

"I SURE CAN KID, WATCH THIS" croaks Gorgoth "JUST WATCH THIS"

As you watch, Gorgoth opens his gigantic maw and his tongue shoots into the clouds, after about 10 minutes it starts retracting when you see it! On the end of his tongue is the strange metal bird!

"I SURE CAN" echoes an infinitely deep voice from behind you. A slimy hand reaches around you and suddenly you're flying through the air.

You decide to look for help in the trees, good idea!

As you ascend you start to hear a strange noise

"HeY KId, What're YOU doing up here" says a strange tree beast

MOVE ALONG THEN

A bird you say? I can't help with that, but I can sell you some delicious fruits.

The beast takes your money and places something in your hand, you look down and see three strange looking fruits

No need to thank me, kid. Good luck.

You keep going and finally reach the top of the trees!

Before you can do anything you feel a pair of cold eyes watching you

You feel huge wingbeats approach you until suddenly a pair of large talons grab you and lift you out of the trees

The creature carries you far up and over a mountain near your swamp. Higher and higher and then... Drops you

You fall down towards the mountain, you fall head over heels faster and faster towards the ground and right before you think you'll hit it, you slowly stop falling in mid air.

You look around until you see it, THE BIRD! It seems to be pulling you towards it!

WHOOSH, you fly upwards and into the strange bird

You find yourself in a strange room, must be the interior of the bird. You hear noises coming from ahead.

You creep along the hallway, look around the corner and suddenly you see him!

HIM

HIM

HIM

YOU KNOW IT MY DUDE!

Well you see this is not a bird, this is my space ship! and I am abducting swamp creatures to help me populate a new planet!

I knew you'd help, my dude! You see, the only problem with my mission is that my mothership is right in DC and the government freaks out whenever I fly around there! I need a way to distract them while I take the last of the animals I caught to the new planet that my dad is making!

You really think that will work?

Wow This plan seems like it might actually work!

Actually no, THIS is the spirit!

Later in DC

That's a great idea! Who will we get to play though?

OH NO, This isn;t a nu metal band, this is a GNU metal band, and they sound AWFUL!

"Hello Yes, this IS Meatloaf!" says the voice on the other end of the line. You explain your situation. "A concert? I'd love to! However I can't. I'm not in the music business anymore, I'm in the food business now, you'll have to find someone else."

OH NO, This isn;t a nu metal band, this is a GNU metal band, and they sound AWFUL!

WELL HELLO THERE KID! A CONCERT? TONIGHT? I"D LOVE TO< JUST LET ME POLISH UP MY OLD TUBA AND I"LL BE THERE IN A JIFFY

WOAH, looks like people caught wind that Doctor Frog was performing and now there's crowds all over the ship and around the area!

"Now where do you think you're going?" Oh no, it's an FBI Agent, he must have been in the crowd and seen you in Jesus' ship!

The stage lights come on and pyrotechnics flare as the frog walks on stage. The entire crowd cheers.He clears his throat and then leans into the microphone. "let the bodies hit the floor"

"Let The Bodies Hit The Floor"

"LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR"

"LET THE BODIES HIT THE..."

"..."

"..."

"FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRR"

The concert ends and Doctor Frog's rowdy fans begin to leave the mothership and start to vandalize the surrounding buildings

Great concert my dude! I knew you could do it! Now, while all of the people and the authorities are distracted with the vandalism, I can fly away unnoticed! Say, do you want to come with me?

Great! Now let's take off before we lose our chance!

You follow Jesus onto the mothership and he takes off.

As you zoom away from earth you get a sudden fleeting urge to look back one last time at the planet you've lived on for your whole life.

Oh. Oh no.Ooooohhhhh noo. No

After an hour and a half flight through space you see it. A whole planet completely covered in swamp, it's absolutely beautiful.

Well this is it! The new planet that my dad just made! say, let me introduce you before I drop off the creatures!

As you get closer to the planet you start to see something large under the clouds covering its surface

As you hover above the planet, a large form rises out of the clouds, it's him, it's God! "Hi dad!" says Jesus "This is my new friend, the swamp king! He helped me get off of earth!"

"IT WAS NOT NOTHING, CHILD" booms an unimaginable voice "YOU HAVE DONE WELL HELPING MY SON AND IN RETURN I HAVE A GIFT FOR YOU IF YOU ACCEPT IT"

"GOOD MY CHILD, NOW, CLOSE YOUR EYES AND BREATHE IN, THEN BREATHE OUT"

Talk to them? Okay I guess, talking was never my strong suit though, you'll have to do it

Location: washington DC

Hokay freeze it, aliens, it's me Fox Mulder. FBI

"ALRight Talk fast, is that jesus? What's going on here?"

That sounds logical! Of course I can help! Here just hop in my car!

You and Jesus speed along in Agent Mulder's car, soon you make it into the city but before you can reach the mother ship you stop at a building

OH NO it's the FBI Headquarters! Shit!

TIME TO DIE FOOL