TFTSP News Quiz 01.02.17

1) Apple is preparing to push out a new update to phones and with it comes a new feature called “Theater Mode”. It’s all been confirmed that this mode will allow you to do this:

A) Better navigate texting and calls while at a movie theater

B) Mirror whatever you are doing or watching on your iPhone screen onto most current smart Tvs

C) Turn your iPhone into a tiny but impressive miniature projector ($99 attachment required)

2) A 20 year old man was arrested at Walt Disney World’s Resort on New Years Day for being drunk and disorderly. During his confrontation with police, the man managed to do these three things:

A) Yelled “Thanks Obama!”, ruptured one of his own testicles and then begged to be tased

B) Yelled “Fuck Trump!”, choked himself out and then urinated on an officer's leg

C) Yelled “Kanye 2020!”, broke one of his own fingers and then tried to pick up one of the female officers arresting him

3) Two female clerks working at a San Bernardino high end adult novelty store managed to scare an armed robber away by doing this:

A) The women began shouting grueling insults at him about how small the size of his genitals must be

B) Chasing the man out of the store while wielding a makeshift flame thrower made out of a lighter and a can of hairspray

C) By flinging every goddamned dildo they had in reach at him

4) In Australia, Authorities is is telling everyone to avoid Melbourne’s most popular beaches after severe torrential storms did this to them:

A) Created giant sand sinkholes that can be deadly

B) Caused an inordinate amount of "highly agitated” stinging jellyfish to appear

C) Washed so much human and animal feces to the shore that you basically can’t swim without taking a nug of poop into your mouth

5) A man in England was just recently reunited with his car after six months of it being missing. The reason he was without it for so long was:

A) He parked it in a parking garage, got drunk, couldn’t find it when got out and just gave up

B) He drove it onto a shore, got stuck near the water and watched the lapping sea waves slowly claim it

C) While trying to sell it, he had a potential “buyer” who forcefully pushed him out of his own vehicle while it was going 60 mph on a freeway

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TFTSP News Quiz 01.02.17

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