As a reader, you most detest . . .
As a reader, you most detest . . .
Hairsplitting
Chin-stroking
Navelgazing
Belly-aching
In a Regency-era novel of manners, you’re rooting for the . . .
Spinster aunt
Harried paterfamilias
Wayward niece
Debauched uncle
Truth or dare.
Truth
Dare
How do you address a mixed-gender group of people?
Guys
Ladies and gentlemen
Y’all
Comrades
Would you have walked out during the first 1913 performance of Stravinsky’s The Rite of Spring?
Oh, definitely
Yes, a little shamefully
Hell no
You like your history . . .
Far-reaching
Decolonized
Dishy
Aesthetic
The imbalance of your humours makes you . . .
Melancholic
Phlegmatic
Sanguine
Choleric
What music plays in your personal hell?
Yacht rock
Folk punk
The Rent soundtrack
Buttery jazz
For you, literature is in constant pursuit of . . .
The fleeting nature of memory
The intricacies of language
Heretofore unknowable truths
A whale
Your go-to victimless crime:
Turnstile hopping
Shoplifting
Public urination
Opening strangers’ mail
Which recent n+1 short story protagonist do you feel closest to?
College student who secretly has two girlfriends
Good-hearted striver lured into law enforcement career
Pope experiencing unexplained hallucinations
Russian woman employed by faceless bureaucracy
Where is your money?
Mostly in Venmo
Cayman Islands
Where my mouth is
Tied up in a pile of unpaid freelance invoices
What do you see?
It’s a uterus
It’s me, on a tall hill
It’s a portentous dark cloud
It’s ice cream
You’re in the Secret Service! Which one of these flubs are you responsible for?
Failing to stop the Kennedy assassination
Almost failing to stop the Trump assassination
Brothelgoing in Colombia
Getting bitten by Biden’s dog
In general, how sleepy are you?
Highly alert, fully caffeinated
Slightly groggy some days
Pretty pooped
This many
You’d rather have . . .
A-list glamour
B-movie goofiness
C-suite salary
D cups
Don’t know much about
History
Biology
Science book
French I took
During the national anthem, you . . .
Stand up
Stay seated
Look around to see what the crowd does
Unzip your hoodie to reveal a shirt that says “America eats its young”
The best narrators are . . .
Self-assured and morally good
Self-assured and morally evil
Self-loathing and morally good
Self-loathing and morally evil
You’ll laugh the hardest at . . .
Suggestive double entendres
People falling down
Witticisms, chestnuts, things of that nature
Fart stuff
Are you a good person?
Yes
No
Are your parents proud of you?
Yes
No
No, but I’m proud of myself
If no teeth, you eat
Jell-O
Applesauce
Chocolate pudding
Mashed potato
Favorite object of Fredric Jameson’s scrutiny?
Bonaventure hotel
Sci-fi
Films of the Taiwanese new wave
Zola
What do you do at a party?
Flirt
Lurk
Bond
Ket
Yum!
Anne Rice
Wendell Berry
Tommy Orange
Joyce Carol Oates
R. Crumb
Stanley Fish
Best rhyme scheme?
ABAB
ABBA
AABBA
ABABCDECDE
In what way are you most like a circus clown?
You humiliate yourself to be loved
Red nose
Children fear you
Your craft places you in a noble artistic lineage that spans back thousands of years
Favorite grift?
Crystals
Cryptocurrency
Cryogenic freezing
Crying for attention
Are you inside your body or are you your body?
I am inside my body
I am my body
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