are you actually just luigi from mariokart

what is the color of the pillows on your couch

i have multiple pillows and i don't want to presume that any of them exist

i don't know what a couch is

this question is irrelevant, seeing as I just broke into a man's home

green

if you could describe yourself with one word, what would it be

fleshy

catatonic

stunning

green

if you were given multiple dollars, up to 1000, what would you do with the money?

shove it into my mouth immediately

hand it over to my dachshund so it can start a new life on the road, freed from the shackles of my outrageous dependency

find a hungry homeless man and charitably purchase 4000 cigarettes for him

go to JcPenney and buy some bright green overalls

if someone were about to murder you, what would you say to them?

"i like this"

"The answer for what defines success can no longer be you’ve received a diploma"

"i'm allergic to dairy"

"It's me, Luigi! Time to collect some more gold coins!"

if you could travel anywhere tomorrow, where would you go?

i'm trapped under a dresser

bali

a damp crevice in the side of a mountain wherein I can be absolutely immersed in wet bats

italy, using a car the size of an infant to get there

what is your favorite hobby

stabbing repeatedly

watching the show Arthur with the sound all the way up

making delicious bread for my friends and family as they gain enormous weight

combing my gorgeous, thick, raven black mustache

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