Which B&B Character Are You?
On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your level of attractiveness?
Shame on you for having to ask. Clearly, I’m 69.
I don’t really care about my good looks. But I do have them.
I’d just hope I’m higher than a 5.
I don’t like to talk about myself.
Do you even see me? I’m nothing less than a perfect 10.
I haven’t looked into a mirror in ages. So probably 300.
Get out of my sight before I kill you for asking such an insipid question.
Even on my worst days (which is every day), I’m never lower than a 9.
What was your childhood like?
Terrible. And that’s all.
Why do you need to know?
I had a loving, beautiful family. Until they all died, of course.
What’s a childhood?
I didn’t have one and I’m happy about it.
It was hard and I wished I was dead for 75% of it.
If you enjoy being the least-loved child, it was great.
It was fine.
What activity would you do on a day off?
Finally get some blessed sleep.
Stare at the wall and disassociate for hours on end.
Take scandalous pictures of myself in the mirror.
Drink my weight in coffee.
Annoy everyone for entertainment.
There are no days off.
Watch murder mysteries for new tips and tricks.
Arson.
Describe your ideal romantic partner.
If he doesn’t act like he despises me with every fiber of his being, I don’t want him.
Boys, boys, boys. That’s it.
Emotional attachments are ridiculous and beneath me.
Arlo.
Tan skin, hazel eyes, dark hair, constantly disappointed, a good smile that I’ve barely seen once, a perfect gentleman—
As long as they shower me with gifts and compliments, I don’t care who they are.
Someone who preferably doesn’t die on me.
Anyone who can get to know me on a personal level while I do my best to prevent them from doing so in every way.
What is your best physical feature?
My hair.
My eyes.
My perfect skin.
My bone structure.
Everything.
My smile.
My severe lack of social boundaries.
My height.
In three words, how would you describe yourself?
Obsessed with murder.
Better than you.
I don’t care.
Hot, sexy, attractive.
Walking panic disorder.
Charming, perfect, handsome, flawless, intelligent, hilarious, talented, amazing, show-stopping—
I need sleep.
Does psychopathic count?
Who is your role model?
My parents.
My best friend.
My siblings.
Myself.
My boss.
My significant other.
Not my dad, that’s for sure.
I clearly don’t have one.
Lastly, what is your dream profession?
Soldier.
Architect.
Sitting and looking pretty for money.
Artist.
Construction worker.
Grave digger.
Writer.
Freelance murderer.
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