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Is your cat trying to tell you something?

Finding yourself traversing campus in a hazardous blizzard, you seek refuge in a small, unmarked shop. As you enter, you are greeted at the front desk by a smiling clerk. "Ah. Have you come in search of comeraderie in these troubling times? Search no longer! Please, have a seat and fill out some of these forms, and we'll get you matched up ASAP." As you take a seat at the antique desk at the clerk's right, he hands you a pen. "Please, answer as honestly as you can. You're undertaking a huge responsibility, and we wouldn't want you to get off on the wrong foot." He gestures to his own feet, cloaked in jester shoes, chuckles to himself, and makes his way to what appears to be the storage room. Before you on the desk is an odd questionnaire. You scan the page...

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