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These 19 Vital Choices Will Determine Your True Personality

You wake up at midday. It is sunny. Pick a drink to have with breakfast:
Mimosa
Bloody Mary
Espresso martini
Water
Orange juice
Milk
Beer
Coke
Your friend Adrian invites you to come on his boat. What will you take on board?
Sparkling lemonade
Beer
Bottle of champagne
Box of RTDs
Bottle of gin and some lemons
No drinks just sandwiches
You and Adrian start having a fight out at sea. What do you hit him over the head with?
Empty booze bottle
Anchor
Just punch him
Sandal
Bible
The fish you caught
You killed Adrian and dumped his body at sea. What are you thinking?
Poor Adrian, he deserved it though
That was awkward...
I need a drink
I am so powerful
I am so pitiful
I might need to have a quick wank
You drove the boat to shore, but your clothes are covered in blood. Pick a disguise
1980s neon ski suit
Linen trousers and an anchor tattoo
Balaclava and Adidas trackies
Armani suit and Rolex
Massive fur coat and loafers
Hawaiian shirt and black hair dye and gel
Stomach grumbling, what to eat?
Cucumber sandwich
Pork pie
Spinach and creme fraiche pizze
Champagne and oysters
Hot chippies with ketchup
Falafel
Time for a drink after this gruelling day of sleeping in and then murdering Adrian. A drink at the bar, perhaps:
No time for drink, got to keep focused and get the train home
Tequila
Rye whiskey
Scotch whisky
Purple slush margarita
Beer
House wine
Brandy and cigaret
A man on the far end of the bar offers to buy you a second drink. He has friendly eyes. Do you accept?
Yes
No
You strike up a conversation with the man either way. He compliments you on your unusual style.
Talk about rugby
Talk about women
Talk about RuPaul's Drag Race
Talk about farming and cattle rearing
Talk about yourself
Talk about how drunk you are
The friendly man offers you another drink. Do you accept?
Yes
No
You wake up dazed and confused. Friendly Eyes has rohypnolised you.
Cry
Scream
Check your bum to see if something bad happened
Sigh jadedly
Try to figure out where you are
Try to find a mirror to see if you got beaten up
Check your pockets
Just sit and wait for something to happen
You come to realise that you have not been bummed but rather all your money has been stolen.
Panic that you can't buy a train ticket to get out of here
Close your eyes and hope to disappear
Create havoc
Chew on your fingers
Blubber
Slap yourself in the face
You find your bearings - you are in the basement of the pub. What do you steal from the cellar to make you feel better?
Crack a keg open and drink its beer
Some dusty Christmas tinsel to wear as a boa
Don't steal, just focus
Expired crisps
Cylinder of whipped cream
Bottle of wine
In the pub, you can't buy a drink. What do you do?
Scan the room to devise an exit strategy
Ask the barmaid wha happened
Eat some leftover jalapeno poppers and half a beer left on a table
Look at the decor and play a little game with yourself, trying to decide what decoration you would take home for free if you could do that
Try to find Friendly Eyes to kill him
Try to find Friendly Eyes to ask him why he chose not to bum you
Before you have time, a pimp approaches you and asks you to pick a prostitute. In return he will give you the money you need to catch the train
Consuela, a spicy Latin minxtress whose breasts can perform the Salsa
Lydia, a common whore with sad eyes
Gorga, a bucksome, matronly whore
Albert, a young Chines whore
Bergamot, a high-class whore
Turpin, a Victorian whore
The whore you chose bit your little cock off. How do you react?
Sigh, because of course she would
Sigh, because you have a high pain tolerance
Scream the most blood-curdling scream
Slap the whore and tell it to get fucked
Talk to the whore to find out why did it do that??
Defenestrate
Cockless and a bit tired, you reflect on what got you here. When you close your eyes, who do you think of?
Adrian when you two were kids
Dead Adrian
The pimp and his whores
The barmaid
Friendly Eyes
Yourself
Your mother
Your father
You head to the train station, ready to get the last train home. The ticket seller asks how your day was.
"Fine thank you"
"Perfect my dear chap!"
"Fucking shit thank you"
"None of your business"
"I don't really want to talk about it"
"Are you drunk or is it just me?"
"Would you mind checking out my crotch bite?
Where on the train home do you sit?
Empty seat
On the ground
Next to the hot sheila
Behind the hot sheila
Next to the crackhead for a chat
Next to the old lady
Next to the child with the balloon
Behind the child with the balloon
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