Funny Quiz: 'What Type of Parent Are You?'

It's 5 AM and your child wakes you up because "there's a monster under the bed." You:

A: Whip out your "Monster Spray" (a.k.a. Water in a spray bottle) and go monster hunting.

B: Convince them to become monster trainers because, hey, even monsters need friends.

C: Tell them you'll pay the monster rent to stay under the bed quietly.

D: Explain, in scientific detail, why monsters are physically unable to reside under beds due to spatial dimensions.

Your child throws a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store because you won't buy them lollies. You:

A: Start an impromptu dance party to distract them.

B: Negotiate with stickers or a later playtime as a trade-off.

C: Buy the lollies but eat it yourself to teach them about the consequences.

D: Calmly explain the economic implications of buying lollies every grocery trip.

It's time for "The Talk." How do you approach it?

A: With a PowerPoint presentation titled "The Birds, The Bees, and The Basics."

B: By avoiding it and hoping school education covers it.

C: Through a series of increasingly awkward metaphors involving pizza toppings.

D: By handing them a book and saying, "Let me know if you have questions."

Your kid wants a pet. You say:

A: "Sure, let's head to the shelter and find a dragon."

B: "Only if you can prove you're responsible by taking care of a rock first."

C: "How about a virtual pet app? No feeding required."

D: "Okay, but let's analyze the long-term responsibilities first."

How do you enforce bedtime?

A: With a bedtime story that mysteriously always puts them to sleep by page three.

B: Negotiation: Every minute they delay, something gets taken away.

C: You don't. You're asleep before they are.

D: A detailed lecture on the importance of REM sleep for brain development.

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