What is your attachment style? For the most accurate results, answer each question as honestly as possible.

When I was a child, I felt a nice amount of emotional nourishment from my parent(s).

When I was a child, I felt secure in my connection to my parents and in reconnecting after separation.

I experience flexibility and balance between seeking comfort from connection with others and experiencing comfort when I am alone.

As a child, I experienced my parents as being consistent, safe, and reasonably reliable, which allowed me to have confidence in their love and availability.

My mother or father has always been there when I needed him/her.

When I was a child, my mother or father was able and willing to provide for my needs.

When I was a child, I experienced my parent(s) as being able to love me consistently and unconditionally.

As a child, I felt that my parent(s) tried to understand me, rather than being too demanding that I understand them.

My parents helped me to feel safe as I was growing up.

I believe my parent(s) were "good enough." (i.e. Responsive enough, reliable enough, attentive enough, warm enough, safe enough)

My parent(s) have/had the capacity for repair when there has been lack of attunement or a disruption in our connection.

I believe that my parent(s) are/were able to contain my occasional rejection or disconnection with them without withdrawing or retaliating toward me.

I feel secure in my relationships. I am able to compensate internally for mistakes, lapses in judgment, and disappointments without fearing loss of connection.

I tend to trust others easily, but in a realistic way.

I am able to repair and receive repair attempts from others in relationships.

I am equally comfortable when connected in relationship with others as I am when I'm alone.

As a child, I enjoyed playing alone just as much as I enjoyed being with my parent(s).

I am open to physical contact in my important relationships.

When I was growing up, I felt safe to explore my environment autonomously and then reconnect with my parent(s).

I am able to reflect on my history with my parent(s) with ease.

My parents did not seem too demanding of me. It felt easy to interact with my parent(s), just as it felt easy to do other activities of my own choosing.

I have generally felt understood by my parents most of the time.

I am able to feel my feelings about my family without being overwhelmed or "derailed" by them.

I prefer the company of animals over people.

I prefer to engage in activities that do not require direct (face-to-face) interaction with other people.

I feel my parent(s) were "not present" with me even when they were present physically.

I find it difficult to remember an emotionally felt past.

When I think about my past, I mostly remember factual information rather than having a feeling of having personally been there.

My parent(s) were overly negative, hostile, and/or rejecting of me.

I learned to be determined and self-sufficient because no one was available to help me when I was growing up.

I don't have a need for closer relationships because I am self-sufficient and happy in my autonomy.

I feel good about my autonomy and not needing to rely on others.

I'm proud to say that I don't really need reassurance or encouragement from others.

I'm uncomfortable when others try to connect with me or make contact with me.

I actively reject opportunities for connection because I don't want to set myself up for rejection or disappointment.

It is difficult for me to find and rely on others for support.

I'd rather focus on work and/or hobbies than relationships with other people.

Too much contact with others makes me uncomfortable.

Feeling alienated or "like and alien" is a familiar feeling.

I prefer people watching over interacting with people.

I feel more like an observer than a participant in life.

I am always "in my head," consumed by my thoughts, worries, anxieties, etc.

I often feel like I don't belong.

It is easier for me to think than to connect with my emotions.

It is easier for me to think than to feel sensations within my own body.

Most often, I would rather spend time alone than with others.

I have repeating habits of criticizing my partner(s) and sabotaging relationships with those who could be a source of real love and nurturing.

I feel like I am always yearning for someone or something.

It seems like what I want is just out of reach. I feel like I seldom get what I am truly wanting.

I take what is given to me rather than asking for what I really want.

It is difficult to identify and ask for what I truly want.

I feel chronically anxious, fretful, or worried about my connection with others long after a conversation has ended.

I often second-guess myself or wish I had said something differently.

I often wonder if anyone will ever see the real me.

I am preoccupied with what others think about me or if they value me.

I usually give more in relationships than I receive. I wish others would reciprocate more often.

I find myself doing favors in hopes that others will respond to me, reciprocate, or like me more.

When relationships do not feel reciprocal, I find myself feeling resentful or harboring a grudge.

I am more prone to feeling sorry for myself when there is a problem rather than taking effective action to solve it.

I tend to "merge" with my partners or friends and feel what they feel or want what they want.

It is difficult for me to be alone.

It is difficult for me to ask for what I want or need because I fear my request may upset whomever I am with.

Others seem to get more acknowledgement, more recognition, or are more popular than me.

I do favors for others with the secret hope that it will obligate them to me or insure me against abandonment.

I have a deep desire to be close with others along with a paralyzing fear of losing love or the relationship.

I have constant thoughts about how to keep relationships or fear of losing relationships.

When another is truly available, I become unavailable.

It is difficult for me to trust others to be reliable, consistent, and safe.

It is difficult for me to receive genuine love when that love or caring is available to me authentically.

I often wonder if I am lovable enough.

I somewhat expect my partner to abandon me or I make up fantasies of how my partner may be betraying me or leaving me.

When love happens, I negate it by deciding it is too good to be true. I expect "the other shoe to drop" at any time.

I have been told that I don't seem able to receive my partner's love.

I need a lot of reassurance about the reliability or trustworthiness of my significant relationships.

I tend to focus more on the needs of others than on my own needs.

I tend to lose myself when I am in a relationship.

I reject or hate my needs.

I tend to look to others to help me meet my needs.

I idealize others. (They seem to have it together so much better than I do.)

I accommodate others' needs before my own.

I secretly feel angry or resentful that I give more than I get.

When I was a child, my parent(s) were "on again/off again." It was hard to predict if they were going to be warm and loving or completely disengaged/disinterested in me.

I tend to over-accommodate or over-apologize in relation to others.

I have trouble taking good care of myself.

I mostly rely on others to feel good.

I can be passive-aggressive in order to get what I want in my relationships.

I find myself ready to apologize or take responsibility for things I did not do.

I feel like I am endlessly in a cycle of frustration or despair.

I want to be close with my partner but feel angry or resentful at him/her at the same time.

I tend to send mixed messages such as taking my partner out for a romantic dinner and then picking a fight with him/her.

I focus on my partner's needs so much that I find it difficult to maintain a sense of my own autonomy in the world.

When I was growing up, the only way I could get my parent(s) attention was to show exaggerated distress.

I feel like to need to show excessive or dramatic reactions in order to get my partner's attention.

When I was growing up, I often feared one or both of my parents.

When I was growing up, I often felt overwhelmed by a chaotic parent.

When I was younger, I found myself parenting my parent(s) in order to calm him/her down.

I find that I need to be in control in my relationships in order to feel safe and/or satisfied.

I tend to override or ignore my instinctive self-protective responses when possible danger is present.

I am easily disoriented or confused.

I have trouble saying no when needed.

I think it is best to forget about my childhood. It's over and I'm moving on.

More often than not, I find myself expecting catastrohic outcomes.

Was/were your parent(s) often frightened or dissociated?

When you were growing up, did you try to control your parents?

My partners comment or complain that I am controlling in the relationship.

I often feel fearful in my relationships

I often feel stumped by problems and feel they are unresolvable.

I have an exaggerated startle response when others approach me unexpectedly.

I expect the worst to happen in relationships.

I tend to dissociate (space out) easily.

I want closeness in my relationships, but I'm often afraid of those I desire to be close with.

I sometimes feel paralyzed in relationships.

Sometimes I feel frozen with fear in my relationships.

It is difficult for me to think clearly.

It is difficult for me to be clear about my feelings.

I feel disconnected from my body and have trouble feeling sensations in my body.

I have trouble setting boundaries in my relationships with others.

It is difficult for me to reflect on or talk about my past.