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Would You survive a zombie apocalypse

Are you gore sensitive?
Yes, I vomit when I think of it.
Yes, It's nasty.
No, I am gore tolerent.
No, I love gore!
Would you kill someone for your own survival?
Yes, who cares about that guy.
Yes, if it is absolutely necessary.
No, that guy is another human being.
No, I would sacrifice myself for him.
On a scale of 1 to 7, how strong are You?
1, Wet noodle.
2, Baby cow.
3, Below average.
4, Completely Average.
5, Above average.
6, Gorilla.
7, Average Russian.
Can you operate an gun?
Wanna try me, I dual wield automatic shotguns.
Yes, I can operate a gun.
Maybe, I don't know.
Nope, not at all.
Could you raid a zombie infested store.
Zombies? Ha, I kill zombies in my sleep!
Yes, I can fight through some zombies.
Yes, I could run in grab what I need and get out.
Maybe, I've never fought zombies before.
No, I'm not going in there!
Where is Safest?
The mall.
A remote island.
The top of a mountain.
My house.
A farm out in the middle of nowhere.
Can you build a safe zone?
Hell yeah! I can build a wall, Trump style!
Yes, I am a skilled architect.
Yeah, I could probably get some walls up.
Maybe, I could put up some barbed wire.
No, It's too much work.
Can you make a sustainable food source?
I can grow more food than you can eat!
Sure, I garden as hobby.
Maybe, I could grow something if I tried.
No, I am a brown thumb, if I touch a plant it dies.
No, that's too much work.
Can you make a sustainable water source?
Absolutely, I live on a natural spring.
Probably, I do live on an aquifer.
Why can't I just use my sink?
No, I hate water, It's cold and wet!
No, That's too much work.
But there's no water around!
How many reliable friends do you have?
None, I have no friends.
None are reliable, just friends.
1-3, And they are my best friends!
4-10, I have plenty of friends!
100 or so on twitter, does that count?
Last question: On a scale of 1 to 7 how prepared are you?
1, Not at all.
2, I have some canned food in the basement.
3, I have a gun or two lying around somewhere.
4, Yeah, Probably, I do have some good stuff.
5, Yes, I've been preparing for years.
6, I woke up to the apocalypse, but I am ready.
7, Hell yeah! I have a giant mech suit!
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