Understanding complaints

A complaining customer is:
Always right
Almost right
Often lying
Always the customer
Customers who complain:
Had unhappy childhoods
Are genetically predisposed to be sourpusses
Have trouble in their primary relationships
Are doing you a service in identifying what isn’t working in your business or organization
The best reward for your customer service representatives is:
Earplugs and punching bags
Valium or other mind-numbing drugs
Recognition and appreciation on your part
Anger management seminars
CRM stands for
Customers Rarely Matter
Can’t Remember Much
Communicating Random Meaning
Creating Rapport in the Meantime
Customer Relationship Management
Customers who complain want . . .
Something for nothing
To be heard and have their experience validated
An iPhone 7
To be made majority shareholders in the company
Customer Service departments:
Are the afterthought that cleans up messes other departments cause
Build customer loyalty
Are leaders in understanding customer behavior patterns and market research
Both B & C are correct
For a company to be considered service-oriented
It must mention customer service in its mission statement.
At least 18.3% of its employees must work in the customer service department
They must meet and play football at least once a month
Customer service must be addressed by all departments
A Call Center is defined as:
A location where complaints and problems are converted into successful saves for your customers and your company
The midpoint in duration of a telephone call
A revenue sink hole
A place where middle-of-the-road calls coexist with liberal and arch-conservative calls
Customer Care is:
A managed care medical program for customers
A nifty alliterative phrase that looks good in company brochures
A new program where customers care for themselves
A philosophy wherein the customer is wrapped in service even before a problem arises
Customer Service Culture is
A new form of yogurt where the lid removes itself for you
Behavior being analyzed in a Petrie dish for contagions
An environment where customer service permeates the thinking of the entire company
A mythical civilization in which everyone smiles and welcomes you when they meet
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