Do you have what it takes to be Brando?

Your significant other reveals they don’t actually like Marvel movies/TV shows.

You ask out a fine Holzwasser woman and she says no and when you ask why she says it’s because your feet stink.

You make your partner a breakfast in bed but instead of frying bacon you fried their new shoes.

Your mom tells you you are adopted and you were never actually a Boss Baby. That was only a costume.

You smell poop and you yell at your partner for shutting their pants but it was you who was carrying around shit all day all along.

You lose your significant other in the Costco so you cry so they take you to the back room and instead of your significant other they send in the police because you’re almost 30.

You get 900K TikTok followers but they mostly came from your live stream of your latest colonoscopy/GYN appointment.

You’re a contestant on The Bachelor and you don’t get a rose the first night because you brought your entire Lego collection.