Which Lamplighter Are You?

Have you ever chopped someone's hand(s) off?

Affirmative.

No. That is my least favorite thing to do.

*nervous laughter*

I am a severed and by some horrifying miracle sentient hand. This offends me.

You are, for whatever reason, a bat in a trenchcoat. What kind of bat?

Do you have a tragic past?

I jokingly tripped my dad when I was 9 and he smashed his head open on a table.

I have seen and done things that would make your ears bleed if I told you about them.

It's all relative.

Horrible things have happened to me in the past, but I'm okay now. Totes.

I've lived an unusually carefree life.

Do you consider yourself particularly vain or arrogant?

*scoffs* I'm too good for that.

I believe myself to be my mother's greatest sin, a plague on this world, a THING that is not worthy of the air it breathes.

Maybe a little bit? I don't know. I've never been called out, at least.

It is a flaw that I am constantly reminded of.

Not even slightly. I have a perfectly sized ego.

You find a wallet containing a considerable sum of money and the owner's identification. What do?

Give it over to the proper authorities.

Take the money and say you found it that way when you turn it in.

Take the money and steal the owner's identity.

Chuck it off the Golden Gate bridge.

Wrestle with yourself but decide to turn it in.

Something else.

Do you enjoy long walks on the beach?

Sure do!

Beaches tend to smell, so I avoid them.

How is this relevant?

Yes, but only if it's with someone I love.

How old are you?

I've lost count.

I don't have a lawn but I yell at any passing children to get off it anyway.

My age is still in single digits.

People consider me an adult.

Do you like long, philosophical debates?

No. Get away from me.

They're tolerable.

Yes! Let's talk trolleys...

Do you regularly punch people's blood out?

All of it, all the time.

No, I dislike violence. Mostly because I'm rubbish at it.

I'm not sure how that would work.

Just between the two of us, is the author of this test a hot bod?

I refuse to answer that.

Smokin'.

*hesitant 'uhm' that I'm going to consider a 'yes'*

Hardly.

Which Lamplighter Are You?

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