TFSP News Quiz: 111318

1. Construction workers renovating an older building in Georgia were surprised when they opened up a wall they were working on and found this inside:

A) An original Jackson Pollock painting

B) The mummified bodies of over five dozen house pets

C) Nearly 1,000 human teeth

D) A mint copy of Action Comics #1 (Superman’s first appearance ever)

2) A few months back a serial killer serving life in prison for some violent crimes he committed in Germany accidentally took his own life during a masturbatory act gone wrong. What happened?

A) He had choked himself to death with a bedsheet

B) He had gagged himself with a rubber ball that slipped into his windpipe

C) He had pulled the electric cord out of a lamp and had wrapped it around his nipples

D) He had attempted to insert a bedpost inside himself rectally but sat down too hard and fast

3) Florida Daily Dubbs: Back in August, a Florida man drank 2 liters of vodka, smoked a blunt, got naked and then did THIS, which led to him accidentally starting a house fire.

A) He attempted to blow matches out with the sheer power of his farts alone

B) He tried to make a batch of cookies using only his George Forman Grill

C) He tried to burn off a tattoo he didn’t like on his forearm using a candle

D) He had tried to dry the clothes he just washed by frying them in a skillet

4) An Australian man recently died after he made this body mutilation to himself to appease his gay bondage master:

A) He self tattooed his master’s name onto his penis, which got massively infected

B) He split his own tongue using a box cutter

C) He injected a large amount of silicone directly into his scrotum

D) He pierced his own butthole with a "less-than-sanitary” large clothes pin

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TFSP News Quiz: 111318

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