That Elijah is one scary dude—but with nice hair.

The pleasure I'll get of watching you suffer is greater than any pain I'll ever feel.

Don't look for any redeeming qualities in me. I don't have any.

I like being a living dead person.

You know, I really liked you a whole lot better when you hated everybody.

Don't rain on my hot guy parade

Forgive me, I always notice a woman's neck. I'm a neck person!

The first rule of truly living – do the thing you are most afraid of.

Everything I like about me is you.

I’ve sworn off men forever, but it doesn’t mean I can’t observe them from a safe distance.

You win some, you lose some. Except for me. I always win.

It’s funny how one event can change the outcome of your entire life.

Don't say anything. You're a dick. End of story.