Communication Styles

This is not a test in the sense that your answers can be right or wrong. It is a way to record some of your reactions when someone is telling you about one of their preoccupations. Each questionnaire item presents possible interchanges between you and another person. The other person begins the conversation by talking about an aspect of a situation he or she is facing. This is followed by five possible responses that you might make. Please choose the response that is closest to the one you would make.

The wording may not strike you as being precisely what you would prefer to say, but disregard this factor as long as the response is closest to the same type you would make. You may think of responses that would be preferable from your point of view, but for the purpose of this exercise, please make your selection from the alternative presented.

Please work quickly. Follow your impulse.

Man, age 50. His company is reducing personnel after a merger.

“I am feeling horrible. They have asked me to let three people in my department go. My biggest problem is with Charles. He is 45, and not a great performer. But he has worked for this company for the last 20 years.”

That is a tough situation to be in. I can appreciate what a difficult position you’re in. But I’m sure you will find the right way to handle the task with the appropriate level of sensitivity.

So are you saying that your bad feeling is due to the fact that you have to let people go? Or is it more specifically a concern about Charles and his unique situation.

It appears that you have lost a certain amount of control of your company because of the merger. And now you are being forced to take a decision you might not have made on your own. Perhaps you didn’t negotiate the terms of the merger to your best advantage.

You’re being too soft. You have no reason to feel guilty. You just find it difficult to make tough decisions. You have to let these people go and just get over it. You’re just doing your job and they will understand that.

I see. What is the reason you have to let these three individuals go? And how close are you and Charles on a personal level? Will he have a difficult time finding a new job?

Woman, 40. Married, with two children, 12 and 9 years old.

“I don’t know what to do. They have offered me a great job managing our Bangkok
office. It is a rare opportunity. And the children would learn a new language and
culture. But this is the wrong time for my husband.”

You should take this opportunity. You have to take care of yourself and your own career. If you don’t, you will regret it.

It seems to me as if you have the habit of placing your husband’s needs before yours.

How difficult would it be for your husband to find a job there?

You feel torn between what you would like to do and your husband’s needs?

You’ve done a good job of balancing work and family in the past. If this job is what you want, I’m sure you will find a way to manage this very well.

Man, 35 years old. A biochemist working on a complex research project for a pharmaceutical firm.

“I am sick and tired of my boss. He keeps interfering with everybody. He continuously checks how we are doing and keeps interrupting us and making us nervous.”

Your boss’ hands-on style has you wondering if he is not pleased with your work. And that is making you feel insecure and anxious.

How have you dealt with this in the past?

So you feel that your boss’ behaviour is making it more difficult for you and your team to do your jobs?

Don’t worry. I am sure he’s really pleased with your work and he just wants to keep himself up-to-date with the progress you’re making.

You shouldn’t let your boss’ behaviour upset you. You just have to learn how to ignore him.

Man, age 29. Recent graduate of a top business school’ MBA programme.

“I have received an excellent paying offer from an investment bank in London. I wasn’t expecting it so in the meantime I had been planning to get involved in a startup with one of my classmates. But if I take the job, I won’t have the time for the startup. But I’ll feel bad if I leave my classmate without a business partner.”

You only talk about the money at the bank and the friendship aspect of the startup, but I still have no idea which kind of work you want. You need to do a lot of soul searching to figure out what kind of career you want to have before you can make a decision on this.

It sounds like you can’t go wrong either way. The bank offer is definitely enviable and if you decided that you want to take it, I’m sure your friend will understand.

So is it that you feel you have to make decision between what you think is best for your career and fulfilling a commitment you had made to a friend?

What is the startup business? How likely is it to succeed and how quickly? And will your friend not be able to start the business alone if you do back out?

You shouldn’t start the business with your friend. Your willingness to consider giving up on it just because you got a high-paying offer suggests that you are not very serious about being an entrepreneur and that you actually prefer to take a more conventional and secure path. You will actually be doing your friend a favour if you back at now, rather than later.

Woman, age 35. Account manager in a large advertising agency.

“I’ve been feeling very frustrated recently. It seems lately I have been working for clients whose products I do not respect. And I am using all my creativity to help them sell those things! What is happening to me?!”

You are upset because you are devoting your energy to sell products that clash with your values?

It’s just a temporary problem. Every job has its negative aspects. In a few months you’ll be finished with these projects and you’ll move on to new clients with different kinds of products. Then you’ll tell me how excited you are about the products you’re working with.

A person can never be happy if they are doing something they are not proud of. You should probably start looking for a job at a different kind of agency that specializes in products you can respect.

Don’t work yourself up. You’re just going through a rough patch. I’m sure you’ll make it through. And if things don’t get better at your current job – though I’m sure they will – you have enough experience that you would have not problem landing a job at virtually any agency you choose.

What is it about the products that these clients sell that you don’t respect?

Man, 45 years old. Works as VP of Engineering for a large multinational
corporation in Europe. Married with three children.

“I don’t know what do to. My father called me out of the blue the other day and told that he is thinking of retiring and wants me to take over the family business. But I know him – it will never work!”

How old is your father? What’s the family business? Are you interested in that business?

Are you afraid that if you take over the business your father won’t really retire and you’ll have conflict with him in running the business?

It shouldn’t be too difficult. Your father has surely mellowed with age and will want to disengage considerably from the day-to-day operations. Under these circumstances, I’m sure you two will be able to work together.

I don’t know how you can hesitate. That business is a cash cow and you’ll be set for life. Plus you owe it to your father!

This is actually not uncommon. No matter how old a child gets, the parent and child continue to relate to one another as if the child were still 16.

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