Are you my boyfriend?

You've just been checked out of the duel diagnosis ward of a psychiatric hospital. You're excited to use the tools you've learned to better your life. Your girlfriend has spent all day running around Pittsburgh to prepare the perfect welcome home meal, and it's one of your favorites. Once you get home you:

Immediately go to buy beer and get hammered before she arrives. You make sure to do a few bumps of cocaine and grab a meal beforehand so that you're no longer hungry for the meal she's preparing. You spend the time she's taking making you food you know you won't eat trapping out of your room instead of helping and take two bites before turning down the rest of your dinner.

You take the time to reflect on what in your life lead you to that moment and shape up your living space accordingly to help maintain a healthy positive attitude. You make sure you don’t eat before so that you can enjoy the meal, and that you don’t drink, as your mental health is frail. You have some champagne to celebrate your accomplishment and enjoy every bite of your favorite dinner knowing a lot of care and love went into it.

You promised your girlfriend a quiet night in, putting on a movie and smoking a little. You have not picked up to sell, and have said you will not be doing any coke for the remainder of the night and just want to go to bed. Your girlfriend is tired but senses in your voice you're upset, so agrees to come over as long as you both can get a good nights rest. You:

Wait until she arrives to admit that you're blackout drunk and never intended to not pick up or have people come by. You lie to her about inviting people to pick up or stop by and hang out, and you have no intention of fulfilling any of the promises made to her before her arrival. You do coke with your friends while she cries in the other room. It is too late for her to walk home safely.

You keep to your word and have a movie prepared when she arrives. She rolls a joint and you smoke it together. You both fall asleep with no interruptions.

You invite your girlfriend to get dinner. She tells you she would love to but she cannot afford to right now. You offer to pay if she accompanies you, and she thanks you as she accepts. It is the next day and something she's done has upset you (she left the house at the exact time you promised her while you were talking coke with a customer without telling you because she felt uncomfortable). You:

Remind her it was only seven minutes over the time that you promises that you were talking to the customer, and that his purchases paid for your meal yesterday. You make sure she knows that you remember paying for her meal, and that she owes you those seven minutes because of your generosity. If she had felt uncomfortable up until that moment she could be uncomfortable seven minutes longer, who cares what you said.

Definitely don’t hold anything you’ve done for her over her head as guilt. After all, you do things for her out of love not for reward. You apologize later for breaking her trust and not giving her your full attention when she was upset over family issues, and explain that you had business to do but were thinking of her the whole time and couldn’t wait until everyone was gone and you had time to help. You care that she knows her mental health and problems are important to you and deserve attention.

You have just taken a big calc test that did not go as well as planned. Your girlfriend has spent the time she has had today making sure the house looks great for your return and doing small chores to make your afternoon easier.

Make sure to come inside angrily and speak no words to her, leaving her feeling very timid. She comes to your bedroom door to tell you she has clean towels waiting for your shower, but you harshly dismiss her before she has the chance to speak. You mutter a thank you under your breathe for cleaning up before asking when she plans to leave. You promised her you would sleep at her house tonight and when she asks you exclaim you “DON’T WANT TO”. You make it clear you do not want to be kind today, and she leaves in fear and distraught.

Thank her, give her a kiss, and let her know how much her kindness means to you. You understand she has her own life to attend to- her own house to clean and own exams to take- but prioritized yours so that you could be just a little happier when you got home. You know she doesn't enjoy it and none of it is her responsibility as she was not at your house at all this weekend, and that you hold all of the kind things you do for her over her head, but she still wants to help you because its not about wanting something in return besides love and kindness also. You explain that while you promised you would sleep at her house tonight, you have a lot of work to do and are very upset, and would like to sleep at home- alone.

You decided you were going to take a weekend break from coke and maybe stay in one or two nights. You:

Do cocaine anyway, fuck what I said to people. I do what I want and I don't care about people's trust in me. I practically own the local bar its my duty to take xanax and sit behind the bar all night.

Take up this wonderful opportunity to let your body rest and live up to your claim. You spend two wonderful nights watching movies and recuperating. Heck, you have four exams this week, you need the rest and the daylight hours to study.

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