Which Character from the Guide are you?

Welcome, Earthling. What would you like to drink?

Whatever, it doesn't matter.

Water, I'm not fussy.

Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

Coke.

On this mission, you need a secret weapon. What is yours?

My sense of humour.

Empathy ray.

Snacks.

A sharp stick.

I know you should never ask this, but what do you think of politics?

I dont.

Down with the damn liberals.

I enjoy myself a good protest, thanks.

It sucks, always has and always will.

If I say 'pet', you say...

Spoilt little shits.

They're nice, I guess.

They're a status symbol.

My type of people.

You've won the Galactic lottery! What design specifications do you give Magrathea to build your perfect planet?

It must be shiny.

Food everywhere.

Black, to reflect my soul.

Earth, but with less French people..

Before we continue, let's have some brunch. You can pick a restaurant.

One of those dark ones so I don't have to see people.

The Restaurant at the End of the Galaxy

Some place with seductive, skinny women dancing in cages hat make me hate my own body.

My couch.

What is your preferred method of transport?

A mule.

My imagination

Your mom!

A gold-covered carriage driven by enslaved pixies.

Besides existing, what do you do all day?

Ask my secretary.

Ponder the meaninglessness of existence.

Think about my next meal.

Count down the days to the next book club meeting.

What do you think the most intelligent Earth-bound species is?

Mice.

Coriander.

Human beings (the female sort).

The French.

What really annoys you?

Being conscious.

When people make tea with too much milk and it turns to this weird, pale-ass drink.

Having people destroy your house in the morning.

The French.

In space, we all need to be able to shapeshift. What is your preferred form?

Humanoid.

Reptiloid.

Some sort of gaseous form.

Precious metals.

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