Do I even Zal? Do you? Like Zal Zal? Zal Zal Zal?
Do you even Zal?
Yes.
What?
Of course. Zal me mate.
Zal is a complex being. He himself cannot Zal. Therefore, no, I do not Zal, but neither does everyone else.
Maybe. I'll find out, right now.
What year was Zal born?
1989
2019. He is a phoeniz that is reborn at the start of every year, perpetually refining himself.
2004
2003
2002
2001
200i, the imaginary year
What does Zal prefer: Android or Apple?
Android
Apple
No preference, because he's an amateur with technology, much like old boomers, proving himself to be indeed the old man. Trapped in a youthful body. Because he's a phoenix reborn every year. And because he's cool that way.
No preference, is what he says because he is afraid of the public backlash.
No preference, because people don't have to necessarily prefer one thing over the other.
Apple, because he's used to it
Android, because it conspicuously has more versatile features, apps, and cheaper prices
What does Zal drink the most?
Maria
Marzia
Margaret
Makayla
Those options were already there im not kidding.
Cranberry juice
Tea
Coffee
In descending order, water, tea, then coffee.
Dr Pepper, but I'm obviously joking; he isn't enough of an intellectual. Shame.
Mountain Dew
What would Zal do if he had a billion bucks woah.
Nothing. He would live on normally, become a doctor and spend the money living comfortably.
Invest in AMD, of course.
Create a hedge fund.
Create a project to better orphanages, schools worldwide in general, and better poor communities by building institutions.
Keep half, spend the rest donating to an environmental project.
Spend some of it buying for a certain girl everything.
Give most to a certain guy, who would invest it in AMD, double the fortune within a year, and pay back the billion.
Create a terrorist organization that assassinates corrupt politicians and enforces democracy.
Hang out with Elon Musk and boost catgirl research.
What are Zal's hobbies? (Choose the ones with only the correct ones.)
Dancing, drawing, planking
Yoga, meditation, Pilates, HAVING ORGIES WITH HIS COUSINS
Legos, minecraft, the piano
Running, minecraft, dancing, the piano
Composing music on the piano, the piano, minecraft, teasing people
Boring people to death, procrastinating
Drinking Marzia
Anime, Fortnite, being dull in general, growing a brain tumor
Saying "Hello there" and making me sad
Why is Zal so humble?
He has no self-esteem.
He has some self-esteem, but not enough.
He has achieved virtual self-awareness and self-actualization.
He simply hasn't a thing to brag about. He's too normal.
He's wise and nice.
It's a default personality for him
What is the evilest thing Zal has done?
Spike his sister's drink
Hit his sister (often by accident)
Steal leGOS DUDE WHAT THE HECK MAN
Push a little girl down the slide and into the pits of Tartarus
Make a dnd server and not touch it for over a year
What would Zal most likely do in his freetime?
Masturbate
Go running
Scroll through memes
Play Minecraft
Play the piano
Study for upcoming tests and quizzes like a good boi
Read
Read fanfiction about himself
Fumble with legos
Watch anime
Drink tea and pretend to be British
Daydream about being British
With whom would Zal spend quality time?
His cat
His family
His school friends
Himself, reflecting about stuff, or, according to him, preferably, watching hentai
All of us, except you, yeh you there, aand that guy, but otherwise, most of us, I think
What's quality time?
How has Zal almost died? (Not fake) (Real) (Gone wrong) (Gone sexual)
By drinking too much of Marzia
By forgetting to take his dementia suppressants and eternally forgetting to take his dementia suppressants
By HAVING INTENSE ORGIES WITH HIS COUSINS
By almost falling during rock climbing; his dad saved him
By swallowing a battery when he was young
By being choked by a rope while using it as an unsteady seatbelt on a cart rolling downhill
By watching hentai for 9 hours straight once, getting a seizure after the fifth Pikachu hentai
Why does Zal talk with us?
To observe and study the average humans online
To torment the weak, destroy the dignified, and instate his absolute authority
Because being on discord or other media outlets allows him to indulge in various inanities
Because he's an incel
He enjoys the company of everyone, whether irl or not
He enjoys the company of everyone, but only online
He likes small talk
He finds the convos sometimes funny, sometimes satisfying, and sometimes thought-provoking
He asks himself this every day
What is Zal's favorite tv show?
FRIENDS, because it inspires him
Breaking Bad
The Office
Eromanga Sensei
Lost
Avatar The Last Airbender
Sherlock
Steins;Gate
Game of Thrones
Boku no Pico, despite my vehement disapproval
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