TFSP News Quiz: 030518

1) A 70 year old Connecticut man was upset that someone had thrown away his half eaten bowl of clam chowder, so he called 911… three times. After the third call, police were sent to his residence and he was issued a misdemeanor summons for misuse of a 911 system. After receiving the summons, he did this:

A) Called 911 a fourth time to complain about his misdemeanor

B) Got his very first tattoo which read "FUCK DA POLICE" on his forearm

C) Mailed a gallon rancid chowder to the police station that issued him the misdemeanor

D) Kidnapped and ransomed the chihuahua of the man who had thrown his chowder away

2) Video footage recently surfaced from an underwater dive at a popular lake for divers in MN. In the video, it clearly shows that someone has put THIS at the bottom of the lake, presumably to fuck with divers:

A) A school of very real looking 8' sharks

B) One of those little prop treasure chests you’d put in a fish tank that occasionally blows open, scaled to life size for humans

C) A dummy chained to the floor and dressed head to toe as Jason Voorhees complete with mask and machete

D) A 15’ “pirate ship” complete with skeletal pirates

3) A 24 year old mother of two in the UK has made over $6,000 from selling THIS to men:

A) G-strings she hand makes spooled from colorful yarn

B) Help with taking dating profile selfies

C) Miniature cat puppets made from real cat hair

D) Her unused breastmilk

4) A 33 year old Florida woman was being booked into custody when a body scanner told officers she might be hiding something up her private areas. Officers found THREE baggies of drugs. A second scan indicated there was still something hiding, to which a second search yielded this:

A) A pair of brass knuckles

B) A pipe for smoking drugs

C) A rosary

D) A complete set of monopoly game tokens

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TFSP News Quiz: 030518

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