Make a Gross Dude and I’ll Reveal Your Biggest Insecurity

What is the first thing you notice on your dude?

His bushy armpit hair has chafed a hole through his shirt

He has sweat stained behind his knees

There’s leftover pizza crusted in the corners of his mouth

His belly button sticks out so far he needs to buy special shirts with belly button pockets

What hair does your dude have?

Rainbow Clown wig

Bald with a slimy scalp

You can’t ever see it because he never takes his cowboy hat off

Greasy dandruff filled middle part

What’s distracting you from keeping good eye contact?

A boger oozing out of his blow hole

He’s missing his two front teeth

His unibrow stretches from ear to ear

He has no eyes

What can your dude just not shut up about?

His love for his moms cherry pies

The sock store that he visits weekly

His brand new pack of muscle tees

How much he loves to floss (his teeth, and the dance move)

What is your dude doing with his hands as he’s talking to you?

Scratching his scabs open

Unpicking a frontside wedgie

Shaking the dandruff out of his hair

Petting his leg hair

What is your dudes style?

Crocs and Biker Shorts

Muscle Tees and Grillz

Cookie Monster Onesie

Bike Helmet and Knee Pads at all times

Your dude has Tourette’s, what word does he keep spitting out?

F f f f f FLABBYDADDY

S s s s SPATCH

C c c c c CLAM CHODER

M m m m MELONS

What does your dudes breath smell like?

Goat Cheese

Spoiled Milk

Egg Farts

Salmon

What does your dude gift you?

His dirty undies

Roadkill

Soggy socks

His wisdom tooth

What does your dude call his mom?

mommy

babe

hottie

round bottom

where does your dude store his nunchucks?

in his bra

taped to his food sack

up his butthole

in his Afro

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