Which Hills Road bachelor are you?

You're leaving the science block when you realise the girl of your dreams is behind you. Do you

Lay down a carpet to stop her feet from getting dirty, knitted by you from the threads of memes and true love

Smile, but make no real move, letting the chance pass you by

Contemplate a simpler time when you, yes you, had a girlfriend of your own

Tell her about when you smuggled yourself on board a space shuttle and accidently nuked Equador

Your ideal date is

Fine dining and stargazing, with some hand holding if you're feeling risky

A couples photoshoot so you can show the world your love

Xplore Centre

Date? What's a date?

It's Valentine's day, and you want to show you care by giving her

A mars bar and friendly hug

An STD

The keys to your new shared home

A few tasteless jokes and a teddy bear

You'd describe yourself as

A real modern day Don Juan

Probably a decent guy?

A plague of misfortune and plight

Your favourite subject is

Geography

You

Biology, especially studies of the heart

Single maths but stronger. Purer.

Your dream girlfriend would be

Alive

Completely without emotions or rational thought

Hot and alive

Able to make you laugh

Your favourite thing about Hills Road is

Being with all your friends everyday

The 50p packets of donuts from Co-op

The chance to spread the doctrine of NUS

The end of it

Your most exciting sexual encounter so far has been

An orgy with 23 Eastern European lesbian Burlesque dancers

At our age?? Unmarried?? What fresh anarchy is this??

A few fleeting NCS crushes, nothing more

N00dz

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