How well do you know Arvian Hesketh?
What is Arvian's favourite rom-com?
Chasing Amy - because he won't shut up about it.
Love Actually - because he's a low-key stalker.
Pretty Woman - because he's a hopeless romantic.
He doesn't - romcoms are toxic to your health.
The Room - it's funny and there's romance. Shut up.
What does Arvian eat in the morning?
Pesto on toast - because he's a culinary deviant.
Eggs on toast served by a bear he needs to wrestle before eating it - because he's swole.
A spinach and feta fritata - because God hates him.
A brownie - because fuck you, why not?
He doesn't - brunch is where it's at yo.
If Arvian was an alarm clock, how would he wake you up?
He'd scream in your face until you wake up.
He wouldn't - he's no ding-a-ling.
He'd throw lit matches onto your neck.
He wouldn't - he'll get someone else to do it cause he's a shit.
He'll put his middle finger on your spine.
Which fictional character would Arvian most likely have dinner with?
Serena Joy (The Handmaid's Tale) - because he likes them evangelical gals.
Michael Henchard (The Mayor of Casterbridge) - because Henchard's a fascinating character and seems like an interesting guy to hang out withm
Betty and Veronica (Archie comics) - He just wants to go to Pop's diner. Nothing dodgy.
Why's he going out with fictional characters, aren't real people good enough for him?
Sherlock Holmes (The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes) - He's quite a character.
If Arvian met a djinni, what wish would he make?
World peace.
World domination.
A plate of mince.
He'd wouldn't because djinnis will fuck you up.
A new bladder.
What is Arvian's favourite food?
Mince - duh.
Mince - does he eat anything else?
Mince - because you can do a lot with it.
Newcastle Salmon waffles - because they're good.
A brownie - because fuck you, why not?
What does Arvian normally order at a pub?
Toothpaste - you can in some places.
Asbestos - he wants to make a fire-proof suit.
Tonic water - that seems normal.
VK - because he's a lad.
Schnapps - because he thinks he's Nietzsche.
He doesn't, he gets other people to order for him.
What did Arvian dream about today?
He had a dream in which he helped Darren, Zenia and Matt were move out of a building because it was infested by clockwork insects who subsisted upon starch collars and bedspreads.
He had a dream in which he and Mollie were pushing around Elsa Koch around a Jelly Belly factory, looking at every luxury jelly bean flavour that had been made since 1861.
He dreamt that Emma's mother invited Nick, Shelby and him into a Gazebo in the Garden of Cosmic Speculation and began painting isoceles triangles on old artworks Arvian illustrated in IGCSE.
He found himself in a WWE style cage match with Charles Melton (an actor who plays Reggie Mantle on The CW's Riverdale after Ross Butler left) who was dressed up as the Ultimate Warrior. Arvian "defeated" his opponent after Melton tripped on his own manly tresses and got his leg stuck in between the bars.
He dreamt that he was a student at a school of sorcery. The school had twenty four rooms, each representing an hour of the day and was organised in a spiral shape. Ross Butler was a senior students who had been put in charge of taking care of some key stage 3 students who had become infected by a djinni's pestilence.The school uniform had Peter pan collars.
What does Arvian normally wear?
Bling, grills and chains cause he gangsta. (Whatup punk?)
Eye-patch, peg leg and bandana because he a pirate. (Argh!)
A whoopee cap because he's Jughead. (I'm weird)
Whatever he feels like. (N/a)
Baggy black trousers.
How would Arvian finish this sentence? "A kebab...
...is as meaningless as a bag of wet hair".
... In our house!"
... Smokes you fool".
... Is why Christ moved to Utah and changed his middle name to 'fucking'".
... Is yum yum in my tum tum".
... Is pointless, yet symbolically compelling".
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