Are You Ready For Mclusky?

Why can't you go fucking in the barn?
There are needles in the haystack.
It's full of rubber animals.
Because the barn's on fire.
Cosmopolitan says.
Where does Jimmy have a place?
Philadelphia.
In our hearts and in our scrapbooks.
In the barn.
Mom's basement.
What is there everywhere I look?
A darkness.
A darkness.
A darkness, darkness.
A darkness.
Where do accidents happen?
Where the rain won't go.
In the barn.
In Jimmy's basement.
Outer space.
We take more drugs than whom?
Jimmy.
Gareth Brown.
The guide dog.
A touring funk band.
What's the terrible, terrible, terrible thing?
The weekly laundry run.
The monthly movie night.
The daily commute.
The yearly family gathering.
When should you be erect?
Christmas.
Five PM.
By half past ten.
Tomorrow.
Note to invading aliens:
Fuck off.
Avoid this town.
We're ready.
We have no leader.
Who's a ballpoint pen thief?
Your mother.
Gareth Brown.
Your friends.
Jimmy.
What is our old singer?
A ballpoint pen thief.
A go getter.
A hard hitter.
A sex criminal.
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