<div>Who is your '90s Crush? (Presented by <strong>Only 90s Kids Understand Things</strong>)</div>

Who/what are you attracted to?

Men

Women

Both

Other

What do you look most for in a man?

Kind

Tall

Well hung

Smells like fresh flowers

What do you look for most in a woman?

Personality

Smile

Purple eyes

Large muscles

What do you look for most in a partner?

Inanimate

Quick to anger

Good personality

Condescending to your parent(s)

Are you nostalgic for Hamburger Cop sketch from All That?

Yeah, that sketch was really funny!

Yeah, that sketch is very emotional for me!

Hell yes, hamburgers are great!

Only if everyone else is nostalgic for it

How many teeth would you like your lover to have?

Do you not believe in exclamation marks in regards to your love of the '90s?

What?!

What is the sexiest part of the human body?

Legs

Ears

Sphincter

Kneecap

What is the ideal height for your lover?

4'4"

5'7"

8'6"

Height is just a human construct. I'm a free thinker.

Do you prefer long hair or feathers?

Yes?

...no?

Irreverence or irrelevance?

Irreverence

Irrelevance

Andrew Dice Clay (Both)

What was your favorite subject in preschool?

Finger painting

Naptime

Toy sharing hour

Calculus

Arr yewe smrt?

Ys I yam

Noweigh. Me doomy.

What was your favorite type of '90s program?

Porn

OJ Simpson trial

Sit-com

If you were a porno actor/actress, what would be closest to your name?

Flopper

Nipplando

Dildington the great

Beggin strip

Is OJ Simpson innocent?

Yes

No, I'm Kato Kaelin and I saw it all!

What's the best '90s sit-com?

Lizzie McGuire

Do you smile a lot?

When I see something funny

Only during masturbation

Don't fucking tell me to smile bitch!

I have to show off my veneers somehow!

Who is your favorite Baldwin brother?

Alec

Stephen

Daniel

Dickie

Is Santa Claus real?

Real fat!

Real stupid!

Tim Allen

What age did you have your first crush?

Fetus - 2 months

2 months - 40 years

40 years - 85 years

I'm on my deathbed and I've never had a crush on anyone

On a scale of 1 - 10 how excited are you to end this quiz?

1 - 4

5 - 7

7.125 - 8.645

8.646 - 10

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Who is your '90s Crush? (Presented by Only 90s Kids Understand Things)

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