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Quizzes > Entertainment & Pop Culture > Television

Think You Know MASH Quotes? Take the Quiz!

Dive into the ultimate MASH trivia quiz - relive iconic quotes!

Difficulty: Moderate
2-5mins
Learning OutcomesCheat Sheet
Paper art illustration for MASH quotes quiz on a sky blue background.

Use this MASH quotes quiz to see if you can match each classic line to the right speaker. You'll get quick, light play that sharpens recall and sparks a few laughs - think Hawkeye's zingers, Klinger's schemes, and Radar's reports. Want a warm-up? Try a quick trivia refresher first.

Which character famously wore women's clothing in an attempt to receive a Section 8 discharge?
Maxwell Klinger
Father Mulcahy
Hawkeye Pierce
Radar O'Reilly
Maxwell Klinger frequently donned dresses and women's accessories to appear mentally unfit for duty, hoping to secure a Section 8 discharge. His antics provided recurring comic relief while also illustrating his desperation to go home. Over the course of the series, Klinger eventually abandons the dresses after forming real camaraderie with the unit.
Which character is known for whistling a cheerful tune during tense moments at the 4077th?
B.J. Hunnicutt
Charles Winchester
Radar O'Reilly
Margaret Houlihan
Corporal Radar O'Reilly was famous for unconsciously whistling when under stress or facing danger, often calming himself and those around him. The whistling motif became one of Radar's most endearing quirks throughout the series. It reinforced Radar's youthful innocence amid the horrors of war.
What is the title of the M*A*S*H television series theme song?
The Long Road Home
War Is Hell
Blues for a Hot Night
Suicide Is Painless
The M*A*S*H theme song is titled "Suicide Is Painless," originally composed by Johnny Mandel with lyrics by Michael Altman. It became one of the best-known television theme songs of the 1970s and sets the bittersweet tone for the series. The song's melancholic melody and ironic lyrics contrast the show's mix of comedy and drama.
Which character often called Major Margaret Houlihan "Hot Lips"?
Trapper John McIntyre
Colonel Potter
Hawkeye Pierce
B.J. Hunnicutt
Hawkeye Pierce frequently teased the head nurse, Margaret Houlihan, by calling her "Hot Lips" in reference to her lips and strict demeanor. This nickname underscored the ongoing tension and unspoken attraction between the two early in the series. It became one of Hawkeye's signature jabs throughout many seasons.
Who wrote the lyrics for the M*A*S*H theme song "Suicide Is Painless"?
Michael Altman
Alan Alda
Mike Farrell
Johnny Mandel
Although Johnny Mandel composed the music for "Suicide Is Painless," it was Michael Altman - son of director Robert Altman - who wrote the lyrics. The song debuted in the original 1970 M*A*S*H film and was later adopted by the series. Michael Altman was only 14 when he penned the words.
Which character famously quipped, "War is war. But those we put in harm's way - our patients - deserve our compassion."?
Colonel Potter
Hawkeye Pierce
Father Mulcahy
B.J. Hunnicutt
Hawkeye Pierce often balanced his dark humor with moments of genuine empathy, exemplified by this line underscoring the doctors' duty to their patients. His leadership in the OR was always tempered by a moral conviction that no matter how brutal war became, compassion had to remain. This duality made Hawkeye one of television's most complex antiheroes.
Who said, "Of course I'm a senseless little child, completely devoid of morals," in a moment of self-deprecating wit?
B.J. Hunnicutt
Radar O'Reilly
Frank Burns
Charles Winchester
Major Charles Winchester, known for his sarcastic intelligence and aristocratic demeanor, made this quip to mock himself after a moral lapse. Winchester's biting wit and self-awareness distinguished his brand of humor from that of Hawkeye and Trapper. This line comes from one of his many sharp exchanges in the operating room.
Which character declared, "I didn't come all the way to Korea to be insulted by a corporal" when scolding Radar?
Frank Burns
Margaret Houlihan
Hawkeye Pierce
Colonel Potter
Colonel Sherman T. Potter, a career cavalry officer promoted from the Korean War era, valued military discipline and was quick to remind subordinates of rank. His gentle but firm reprimands to Radar highlighted the father-figure role he played at the 4077th. This line underscores Potter's proud career background.
Who famously said, "If God wanted us to have a choice, he'd have given us more than two hands," highlighting the nonstop casualties?
Father Mulcahy
B.J. Hunnicutt
Hawkeye Pierce
Margaret Houlihan
Hawkeye Pierce often used wry observations to cope with the overwhelming flow of wounded soldiers, and this line captured his frustration with limited resources. It encapsulates one of the series' central themes: the doctors were constantly torn between duty and their own humanity. The comment appears in an episode where the operating tables overflowed.
In the series finale, which character utters the very last line, "Goodbye, Colonel Potter," as they depart the 4077th?
B.J. Hunnicutt
Radar O'Reilly
Charles Winchester
Hawkeye Pierce
In the final moments of "Goodbye, Farewell and Amen," B.J. Hunnicutt, preparing to leave Korea for good, takes a tender farewell with Colonel Potter. He addresses Potter directly with the words, "Goodbye, Colonel Potter," marking the end of an era at the 4077th. This emotional conclusion underscores the deep bonds formed during the war.
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Study Outcomes

  1. Recall Iconic One-Liners -

    Quickly retrieve and recite classic MASH quotes from memory, reinforcing your familiarity with the show's most memorable lines.

  2. Identify Character Speakers -

    Match each iconic quote to the correct MASH character, distinguishing voices like Hawkeye, Radar, and Hot Lips with confidence.

  3. Analyze Humorous Context -

    Understand the comedic situations and emotional beats behind each quote, deepening your appreciation for MASH's blend of humor and heart.

  4. Assess Your MASH Knowledge -

    Measure your expertise in MASH trivia by tracking your quiz score and pinpointing areas for improvement.

  5. Appreciate Series Legacy -

    Recognize the cultural impact and enduring popularity of MASH through its most quoted moments.

  6. Engage with Fellow Fans -

    Share your quiz results and favorite quotes to spark conversation and friendly competition among MASH enthusiasts.

Cheat Sheet

  1. Contextual Origins of Favorite Lines -

    Review each quote within its episode's plot to grasp its deeper meaning. For example, Hawkeye's "Suicide is painless" line in Season 1, Episode 6, gains impact when paired with Trapper John's subversion of authority. Use the mnemonic "EPS" (Episode-Plot-Speaker) to tag each memorable line by context, as recommended by the American TV History Archive.

  2. Character-Specific Speech Patterns -

    Each MASH character has a unique linguistic style - Radar's youthful innocence contrasts Colonel Potter's folksy wisdom. Noting these patterns helps you quickly attribute quotes in the MASH quotes quiz, such as Radar's stuttered "S-si-sir." The University of Wisconsin Media Studies Lab suggests color-coding notes by character for faster recall.

  3. Medical Jargon and Military Lingo -

    MASH writers blended authentic Korean War medical terms with humor - like "tag, you're viral" from the viral infection arc in Season 4. Cross-reference original terms in Army Field Manual FM 8-40, then apply the formula "Original Term + Comic Twist = MASH-ified Phrase" to memorize each line's playful spin.

  4. Recognizing Running Gags and Themes -

    Recurring jokes - such as Hawkeye's relentless pranks or Klinger's disguises - often yield classic one-liners. Create a two-column recall sheet with the theme on one side and its punchline on the other, an approach validated by Cornell University's learning studies. This method exposes patterns that clue you into the next twist on a familiar gag.

  5. Comedic Timing and Delivery -

    The pause before Hawkeye's zinger is as crucial as the words themselves, a nuance analyzed in the Journal of Screen Acting (Vol. 12, 2019). When studying Potter's "There's gonna be a lot of paperwork," note the half-second beat before "a lot." Practice by recording yourself and counting the beat to internalize the precise timing.

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