Main Category: Anxious Types
Secondary Category: Dependent Types
View of World: A constant trial where perfect performance is required.
View of People: Harshly judgmental, ready to reject and ridicule you for the slightest flaws.
Main Obsession: Feeling (socially) safe and accepted.
Main Defense: Unobjectionably agreeable demeanor, avoiding attention.
Secondary Defense: Complete avoidance/reclusiveness, giving up before trying.
Demeanor: Nervous and timid, yet readily acts cordial and flattering when put on the spot. Stays on the sidelines.
An SaS is overwhelmed by a fear of rejection and judgment—of being excluded or ridiculed. To avoid this, they thoroughly overthink social interactions, choosing only "safe options," usually extremely pleasant and inoffensive behavior. This makes assertiveness very elusive to them, so they struggle with over-accommodating, giving in, and outright fawning.
However, they’re not a total doormat—since they're so oversensitive to criticism, they might get deeply offended if they perceive something (for example, a teasing joke) as callousness. They won't lash out, but retreat and start avoiding the "offender" like the plague. They might never make their grievances clear; they're masters of inexplicable ghosting. They might also complain about the mistreatment in a very sympathy-eliciting way to trusted people, tarnishing the reputation of the "offender."
An SaS is not inherently reclusive but rather prefers the company of a few select, trusted people (they crave acceptance and reassurance, after all). However, if their anxiety gets out of control, they might indeed become unwilling recluses and spend their days ruminating about past interactions and fretting over upcoming ones.
Surprising Side: Even when an SaS’s social life is going smoothly, they have a constant nagging feeling of "I'm awkward, I'm an embarrassment." They might subtly but frequently voice their concerns about their inadequacy, hoping for reassurance. This can get tiresome even for their most loyalfriends, and if those friends take some distance to get a breather from that, it only confirms the SaS’s belief that they’re awkward and annoying.
Central Issue TL;DR: An overwhelming fear of rejection and judgment, while still craving to be reassured out of that.
Subtypes:
Externalizing:
-The sweetie
This
subtype puts their trust in their warm and agreeable demeanor. They
don't have as much fear of being generally awkward, and they're more
sociable than "the thin-skinned", but they are terrified of
causing upset, offense, friction, let alone (the horror!) conflict.
Their pleas for reassurance focus less on general insecurities, more on
making sure that everyone's feeling all right, and no-one is mad at them
in the slightest - ironically, them fussing about this can be maddening
in itself. They are at great risk of toxic relationships, since they
struggle immensely to cut anyone off, due to the upset that would cause.
They might eventually resort to ghosting, but will be plagued by
anxiety long afterwards, likely taking drastic measures to avoid running
into that person.
Internalizing:
-The thin-skinned
The
thin-skinned is worried about being awkward, judged and ridiculed more
so than upsetting others - but these things go hand in hand, so they too
try to act altogether agreeable. Their strategy of socializing is much
more cautious than "the sweetie's"; it's like they dip their toes in,
but at the slightest hint of rejection they withdraw, and might even
feel bitter about this mistreatment, while also relentlessly bashing
themselves for "failing once more". They have unreasonable standards for
themselves above all, but others are not completely spared from that
either. They often seek reassurance by criticizing their own
skills/traits (hoping for others to claim the opposite), which along
with their easily hurt nature can get tiring for friends. They might end
up quite reclusive due to social situations feeling so overwhelmingly
"brutal" to them.
Autonomy Warrior (AuW)
Main Category: Autonomy Types
Secondary Category: Confrontation Types
View of World: Oppressive, restrictive, intrusive
View of People: Try to gain power over you and control you
Main Obsession: Absolute autonomy
Main Defense: Confrontation
Secondary Defense: Avoidance
Demeanor: Hypervigilant, but rather than nervousness, there's a "bravado," as if daring anyone to cross them.
Ruled by an extreme fear of losing autonomy, an AuW reacts to demands, expectations, and power imbalances with defiant anger. They are averse to commitments—whether in relationships or taking on responsibilities at work or with hobbies—and have rigid and "expansive" (seemingly unreasonable to others) boundaries.
They are sensitive to any imbalances in power dynamics, since people having an upper hand feels like a threat to their autonomy. In the same vein, any perceived disrespect counts as a power play to them, making them hypersensitive to "slights."
Their social behavior ranges from seeking connection, but with relationships being stormy and short-lived, to preferring social isolation. They might still keep a few "allies" (that's what they see them as, rather than typical friends)—people who effortlessly keep a certain distance and have no boundary-pushing tendencies. Surprisingly, an AuW might get along with other AuWs (maybe after some initial friction) due to instinctively understanding where the other is coming from.
Their anger expressions range from instant, fiery confrontation to silent seething, which only boils over when they are truly pushed.
Surprising Side: An AuW might genuinely crave close connections, but the expectations and ties that come with those just feel unbearable in a primal way, triggering their fight-or-flight reflexes, which affects their whole body. Being an AuW is not a choice to be uptight about your boundaries; boundary violations indeed feel like existential threats. Some AuWs are well aware of this paradox and tragedy but are still, ironically (since freedom is their obsession), prisoners of it.
Central Issue TL;DR: Hypervigilant about autonomy with strong feelings of anger.
Subtypes:
Externalizing:
-The volatile
Despite
their mistrust, this subtype has a noteworthy drive to connect. So they
go out and socialize, might even give romantic relationships a go now
and then... it's just that being an AuW, all of that leads to frequent,
explosive confrontations. Unlike the ice fortress, this subtype gets
frustrated isolating themselves for long, so they never adopted the
strategy of icy withdrawal - fiery confrontation is basically the only
defense they have, so it gets used a lot. Not that it's some conscious,
calculated response - no, the rage just takes over. As "the volatile"
implies, this subtype is indeed highly volatile, prone to getting in
physical fights, destroying property in a fit of rage etc. They also
tend to develop a pre-emptively challenging ("don't even think about
trying me") sort of demeanor, that has a slight similarity to an AnI's
demeanor.
Internalizing:
-The ice fortress
This
subtype is the less outwardly obvious - their main defense is keeping
everyone at arm's length, and if someone still dares to intrude, cutting
that person off entirely. Usually not by just ghosting - as an AuW's they feel compelled to make it known
that a line was crossed and there's no coming back, so they're much
more likely to make some blunt statement before cutting contact. They do
feel the same intense anger as "the volatile", and are also very
capable of showing it face to face, if pushed/cornered. The ice fortress
might keep some (not very close) friends - though even those are
chronically "on thin ice" with them - but a romantic relationship is a
tall order for them. If they do end up in a relationship, it tends to
either be short-lived, very on-and-off or some highly unusual
arrangement where they magically manage to avoid feeling tied down or
trapped.
Compulsive Disruptor (CoD)
Main Category: Chaos Types
Secondary Category: Autonomy Types
View of World: Inexplicably "wrong," alienating, suffocating, boring
View of People: Part of the "wrongness," aside from maybe a few select allies
Main Obsession: Breaking free, destruction (seeing the "wrong" world burn)
Main Defense: Chaos, defiance
Secondary Defense: Escapism through extraordinary experiences
Demeanor: Restless, nonchalant, oozes mischief with a sharp edge
A CoD seems compelled to persistently rebel and disrupt, despite negative consequences and without a clear (for example, ideological) reason. These disruptions could target rules, systems and structures (such as school or society), or social dynamics. They are not usually overtly angry; their demeanor often comes across as upbeat and carefree. Instead of rage, they feel a restless agitation (sometimes described as unbearable boredom) and a sense that "the world is wrong" and/or they are entirely unsuitable for it. Constant disruptions could be seen as an attempt to "shake up" this pervasive wrongness.
The presentations range from mainly disrupting rules, systems, and society (with a high risk for crime) to causing social chaos through aimless manipulation and erratic role-playing (with no clear goal of personal gain). CoDs are not devoid of empathy but might partially dissociate from it when the urge to disrupt takes over.
Surprising Side: CoDs might sincerely do introspection, some even a lot of it, but they fall short of understanding their deepest motivations for chaos or being able to stop it. This frustration pushes the seemingly upbeat type into melancholia and existential crisis. In fact, there always tends to be an undercurrent of existential crisis with them (the world feels all wrong to them, after all), and their carefree demeanor is only surface-level.
Central Issue: Their disruption is frequent, aimless, and often self-undermining, not goal-driven rebellion or manipulation.
Subtypes:
CoD has two flavors of
externalizing subtypes, one internalizing. And exceptionally for CoD, a
person can display traits of ALL of these subtypes at once!
Externalizing:
-The renegade:
This
subtype's disruption primarily targets rules, systems/institutions and
the society, over individuals or relationships - it's "nothing
personal". No matter how it might seem, or how the CoD justifies it,
it's not genuinely rooted in ideology and lacks true goals. Even a
renegade-CoD might sometimes impulsively disrupt social harmony, but not
to manipulate or "toy with" people the way the "social experimenter"
does. The renegade is particularly prone to getting in trouble with the
law.
-The social experimenter
This typically
charismatic subtype creates social chaos through drama, manipulation,
and unpredictable role-playing. Their empathy is not entirely absent,
but is overall lower (or more frequently "switched off") than for the
other subtypes, since this is required for them to carry out their
flavor of mayhem, which potentially causes emotional distress to others.
The social experimenter might get into a flow state of stirring the
pot, and only afterwards have a lucid moment where they realize, how
much pain they caused. However, they hate to dwell on that, and are soon
back to their antics.
Internalizing:
-The identity shifter
This
subtype basically focuses their disruption on the stability and
constancy of their own life. They compulsively cycle through complete
identity shifts, switching styles, interests and jobs, often moving
around etc, as if needing to shed their past selves repeatedly and
frequently. This subtype is most prone to introspection, though they
self-sabotage this process by periodically feeling the need to do a 180
on their beliefs about themselves and the whole human condition. They
also have a blind spot when it comes to looking at their life as a whole
- they tend to genuinely believe, that whatever identity they currently
inhabit is finally "their true self".
Enchanting Mirage (EnM)
Main Category: Facade Types
Secondary Category: Push-and-Pull Types
View of World: A ruthless competition arena where your vulnerabilities must be hidden and admiration is the life nectar that must be won.
View of People: A needed source of admiration, but untrustworthy and judgmental (could turn on you and hurt you at any moment).
Main Obsession: Being admired and longed for.
Main Defense: Alluring facade polished to perfection.
Secondary Defense: Keeping emotional and at times physical distance.
Demeanor: Polished, charming, occasionally acts warm and "deeply relating," but still with a subtle undercurrent of emotional distance, which adds to their mystique.
The EnM fears revealing their true self (which they subconsciously see as unworthy) but craves admiration, so they craft a "perfect persona" for others to idealize—one of irresistible allure. To avoid cracks in this facade, they cycle close friends and partners through phases of (seemingly intense but performative) closeness and distance. This cycling also ensures others are left wanting more; someone getting bored of them is an unacceptable nightmare. Above all, they crave being fervently longed for.
Surprising Side: You might see an EnM as just a fickle being, but some are meticulously conscious about who they distance themselves from and when. They keep track of every hint that someone might not be quite as enamored with them anymore and "deserves" some distance and coldness. They will definitely notice if you, for example, start answering their messages more slowly, and this is both insulting and devastating to them.
Central Issue TL;DR: Avoids true intimacy and vulnerability, has deep insecurity underneath, and engages in on-and-off relationships.
Subtypes:
Externalizing:
-The soulmate
For this subtype, being admired from a safe distance is hardly enough - they need to be adored,
wanted, needed, from up close! They really play up the performative
closeness and warmth, making their "target person" feel like they've
found the person of their dreams, someone beyond compare. The soulmate
even compromises their pride a bit in doing some "mirroring" - appearing
more similar to the other person than they really are. But this facade
is also demanding to keep up, let alone keeping it flawless and
ever-fresh, so there will be some rapid and intense hot-and-cold cycles
(the "cold" usually meaning inexplicable distance, not rudeness) between
"the soulmate" and the one they're charming. The soulmate's own
feelings tend to be very ambivalent - from the intoxicating high of
being adored, to resentment when drained by the facade... to actual
glimpses of attachment (when they buy into their role) which still feel
unreal and out of reach for them.
Internalizing:
-The distant star
The
distant star is on the opposite end of the spectrum, keeping quite a
bit of distance and ensuring the flawlessness of their impressions by
keeping them scarce. They like to give people just enough to get them
hoping, longing, even obsessing from a far. “Absence makes the heart
grow fonder” after all. The distant star is more prone to carefully
calculating their moves and later ruminating about possible mistakes,
even berating themselves harshly if they didn't "perform" up to their
standards - a surprising level of anxiety is boiling under their
confident and polished surface.
Since the distant star is so cautious
not to overindulge in any one person, they likely have more people "in
rotation" than the soulmate, or alternatively they lean introverted and
spend a notable amount of time alone, "perfecting themselves" in various
ways or daydreaming about overflowing admiration.
Main Category: Dependent Types
Secondary Category: Anxious Types
View of World: Extremely terrifying and desolate to face on your own.
View of People: Either potential threats or indispensable, idealized saviors.
Main Obsession: Safety, inseparable connection.
Main Defense: Finding your one person to cling onto.
Secondary Defense: Tearful pleas or people-pleasing to avoid abandonment.
Demeanor: Intensely focused on one person or looking for someone to focus on, fragile and vulnerable, with eyes that plead for connection and acceptance.
A Helpless Merger (HeM) feels terrified and helpless on their own, so they cling desperately to a "chosen person." It’s not just about practical support; their identity feels fragile and unformed, so they long to "merge with their person" on a deep, identity-level. Since they highly idealize "their person" (to justify their desperation to themselves), they can be overly tolerant of mistreatment, usually switching their dependency to a new person only if they start to feel physically unsafe.
Surprising Side: An HeM is definitely not confrontational, per se, but in the face of abandonment (which could be just a momentary, harmless separation from "their person"), they can become very insistent and desperate, to the point that it reads as aggressive. This happens especially if tearful, sympathetic pleas have already failed.
Central Issue TL;DR: Despair and poor life management when "on their own."
Subtypes:
Externalizing:
-The go-getter
The
name may be misleading - the only thing they're go-getters at is
finding the next person to cling onto. They're fully aware of their
inability to stand loneliness, and they are proactive, even a bit
pragmatic about fixing that situation. Like every HeM, they tend to
idealize "their person", but not to the deluded fairytale-like extent as
"the rescuee". They might even consciously "settle" for someone who
they don't instantly see in a divine light, if they seem to be out of
options! At the threat of abandonment, they get very emotionally
intense, even aggressive in trying to stop that from happening... but
when all is lost, they're faster (than "the rescuee") to get over it and
move onto the next person. Due to their lower idealization and more
pragmatic view, they're even capable of dumping people themselves, if
someone new who has more love and care to offer seems to already be
welcoming them with open arms.
Internalizing:
-The Rescuee
The
rescuee is more dreamy and drifting in their search for "the one". Not
completely passive of course, their urge to find their person burns
them, but to them feeling utter infatuation and idealization is
non-negotiable. Their mind is effective and finetuned to creating that
feeling, but sometimes a person who makes that mechanism click just
doesn't appear for a while, and rather than "settling" for less, the
rescuee will languish in loneliness, both comforted and tormented by
romantic daydreams. At the threat of abandonment, the rescuee prefers
tearful pleas and tragic lamenting over aggressive demands, and when all
is lost... it will take a good while for the rescuee to get over the
relationship. Even if they're miserable alone, they'll likely just
suffer that for some time, before being ready to see someone else in the
same idealized light again. The rescuee is also the one to cling onto
relationships long past they've gotten toxic - it's extremely rare for
the rescuee to be the one dumping someone.
Main Category: Control Types
Secondary Category: Anxious Types
View of World: An overwhelming, chaotic mess, ripe for catastrophe, tainted by abhorrent unpredictability.
View of People: Unreliable and unpredictable; they need to be either avoided, micromanaged, or dominated into order.
Main Obsession: Managing the chaos for their own survival.
Main Defense: Surrounding themselves with flawless order and routines.
Secondary Defense: Trying to force others to follow their flavor of order, even "crusading" for it—or avoiding other people as much as possible.
Demeanor: Tightly wound, nervous, might do even little things very meticulously or be particular about them. Alternatively, they might appear confident but judgmental, domineering, and nitpicky.
Driven by a deep fear of unpredictability and losing control, an OrF organizes their lives not just meticulously, but according to rigid, often arbitrary personal rules and systems. Their relationships suffer due to micromanaging and chronic distrust in others' reliability.
Their presentations range from isolated and inwardly focused to forceful and imposing—acting like crusaders or tyrants for their idea of "righteous order." Their affect can appear either overtly anxious or falsely confident and domineering (in the crusader/tyrant style), but is always internally high-strung.
Surprising Side: An OrF's personal idea of "perfect order" might, in fact, be very different from the order pushed by society and general consensus. In those cases, the OrF can look like a rebel or an eccentric, and if they also happen to be the more domineering "crusader" type of OrF, they can even seem fiercely rebellious or like a cult leader. Their nervous, chaos-fearing core is well-hidden, and those people will be hard to recognize as an OrF.
Central Issue TL;DR: Their order-obsession causes distress and clearly hinders their social fun
Subtypes:
Externalizing:
-Righteous tyrant
Like
every OrF, they see the world as a hopeless mess of chaos, but are not
satisfied merely keeping their own corner in check. No, the farther they
can impose their sphere of order, the safer they'll feel. Though they
are not necessarily very conscious of their anxieties, instead seeing
disorder as something appalling, tainted. Their relationships suffer as
they act overbearingly controlling, superior and self-righteous, but at
the same time their very intensity gives them an "aura of authority"
that can be convincing and even appealing to some. The interesting thing
is, that their idea of order doesn't necessarily align with societal
norms, so they could even have a weird cult-leader-like vibe.
Internalizing:
-Nervous wreck
This
subtype for one sees managing others as an overwhelming task doomed to
fail, since they have no trust in others being reliable or predictable
in the slightest. Instead, the nervous wreck obsessively plans their own
routines and tries to always be prepared for disaster. Their rigid
routines and systems can also deviate from society's idea of
orderliness, sometimes offering more of an emotional sense of security
than anything practical. They don't isolate for the sake of it (not
"hermits at heart"), but they struggle in relationships due to constant
mistrust and "making sure" about everything excessively. And while they
don't try to impose order the way righteous tyrants do, when they have
to rely on others (or, say, do a group project), they will try to
neurotically micromanage everything.
Main Category: Unemotional Types
Secondary Category: Control Types
View of World: A jungle where only the cool-headed, calculating, and pragmatic thrive.
View of People: Cold and transactional; they can be loyal to someone "on a logical basis" but are unforgiving toward a slight.
Main Obsession: Survival, proving the world their unflappable competence.
Main Defense: Brute-force repression of emotions.
Secondary Defense: Deriving a sense of superiority from being efficient and competent.
Demeanor: Emotionally cold/unbothered, sharp and purposeful movements, a confident and unflappable aura that could be intimidating.
Chronic, deep dissociation from emotion makes an EfP seem unusually cold and pragmatic. Often efficient and well-organized, they may carry a streak of pride, flaunting their intelligence, discipline, or a polished appearance. While not malicious, they can act callously when something is "deemed practical." Occasionally, their detachment cracks into brief outbursts, typically of venomous anger. Unsentimental pragmatism is how they survived a chaotic childhood.
Surprising Side: While an EfP thinks they are completely emotionless and might seem that way, in fact, there's one emotion they're driven by: a constant, low-level anger. This is what gives them the desire to not only survive but to win and "show everyone." This anger was born from childhood mistreatment/neglect and feeling powerless or inferior. It's as if an EfP lives and excels out of spite, and this also explains their occasional venomous outbursts.
Central Issue TL;DR: Emotional detachment that hinders meaningful connection and emotional reciprocity.
Subtypes:
Externalizing:
-The untouchable
This
subtype is not satisfied just being pragmatic - they have a rather
strong drive to show other people just how capable and unflappable they
are. Direct bragging is out of the question, since they also take pride
in their aloofness, so instead they just act fiercely competitive while
trying to make it look effortless. Sometimes they take on too much just
to prove their efficiency, and the stress can lead to venomous
outbursts. This subtype is quite aware of power dynamics and can't stand
a low position, but rather than aggressively dominating others, they
take the "high road" of acting ice cold towards people who think they
have the upper hand. Not that they'd needlessly sour their relationship
with actual higher-ups at work etc - they are pragmatic after all - but
neither will they grovel.
Internalizing:
-The robot
Ironically,
this subtype is more genuinely untouchable, since they don't feel much
of a need to prove their capabilities to anyone but themselves. While
far from doormats, they also lack a drive to climb hierarchies for its
own sake, as long as they're allowed to do their own thing, and their
capabilities are not outright overlooked. Internally, they do feel the
need to prove themselves - to themselves - over and over again, to
reassure themselves that yes, they are cut out to survive this "ruthless
jungle" of life. The very thing they might show external pride in is
their uncaring nature and "cold logic" - you might hear them scoff at
people being "too emotional" or too dumb and gullible. The robot might
be satisfied completely without romantic relationships, but if they end
up in one, they might actually be a more stable partner than the
untouchable - less prone to power struggles and outbursts of anger.
Main Category: Eccentric Types
Secondary Category: Unemotional Types
View of World: Overwhelming, hostile, alienating
View of People: Others could as well be different species—they'll never understand the SeA, and SeA will never understand them.
Main Obsession: Deriving meaning (and a sense of superiority) from their incomprehensible "self-mythology"
Main Defense: Dissociating from emotions, rejecting the world down to its logical rules.
Secondary Defense: Escaping into sensory experiences and altered states of mind (that come naturally to a SeA)
Demeanor: Serene, detached, inexplicably "odd" and inscrutable. Comments could seem off-topic, irrelevant, or absurd; the train of thought is hard to follow.
A chronic dissociation from emotion makes an SeA seem serene—almost transcendental. This is not true inner peace; emotional detachment is how they survived an overwhelming, traumatic childhood. Their eccentricities—particular styles, bizarre habits, arbitrary principles, or semi-delusional beliefs—carry an "alien" quality, as if detachment from emotion also severed them from human norms. Their self-concept is often fragmented, contradictory, and self-mythologized. They may act calmly cruel, like they're observing others as specimens, without true malice.
When painful emotions threaten to push through their detachment, a SeA might overindulge in sensory experiences, as if "melting into" the external in a nonverbal/instinctual state. The repressed emotions might also spill over as inexplicable feelings both negative (irrational fears, ominous dread) and positive (enchantment, a magical "importance" of mundane details), sometimes even as mild hallucinations. A complete break with reality is a risk for them under extreme stress.
SeA struggles to genuinely introspect, leaning instead on their personal mythology that defies logic.
Surprising Side: Even if a SeA's beliefs and principles wouldn't make sense, they state them with such unwavering certainty (derived from their indifference toward approval) that they can seem deeply philosophical or spiritual. This might gain SeA admirers who hang around as friends of sorts, making many SeAs surprisingly not complete recluses, despite their total inner alienation and disconnection. Some people might also be drawn to "figuring them out," and they might in fact enjoy this attention to a degree, since being a deep mystery often fits their mythologized self-image.
Central Issue TL;DR: Emotional detachment paired with a fragmented/irrational self-concept.
Subtypes:
Externalizing:
-The sensory seeker
Every
SeA disassociates from their emotions and flees from introspection, but
the sensory seeker does it particularly literally. They tend to go into
"states" where they hyperfocus on details in their external
surroundings, almost as if wanting to melt into the external, away from
the pains buried in their internal world. Their view of the world,
however, isn't grounded or realistic - their repressed inner landscape
leaks through in disorienting ways, creating an "enhanced reality" with
mild distortions and indescribable "vibes" (sometimes enchanting,
sometimes terrifying). They're not satisfied simply taking in their
surroundings on a calm walk - they often deliberately seek out extreme
and even unpleasant sensations, such as freezing cold, chaotic noise or
feeling harsh surfaces.
Internalizing:
-The mythology maker
Like
any SeA, this subtype too avoids actual introspection, but they do
spend lots of time in the abstract realm of their mind, where scattered
thought-fragments combine into new, incoherent ideas through random
associations. Not that SeA's would be incapable of coherent thought in
simple, daily matters, but when it comes to their innermost... coherence
is their kryptonite. In a way this subtype might superficially look
more externalizing, 'cause they're more likely to share their absurd
insights with others, while the sensory seeker struggles to articulate
their experience at all. The mythology maker doesn't care if others
disbelieve them - in fact they expect that reaction - but they feel
empowered in expressing their ideas with unwavering conviction, as if
they're holy truth (all while they might hold many contradictory ideas
at once).
Main Category: Push-and-Pull Types
Secondary Category: Turmoil Types
View of World: A battlefield of interpersonal turmoil, full of both threats and glimpses of salvation.
View of People: They carry something you desperately need but are also a threat to your very soul.
Main Obsession: Deep connection and total acceptance, while bypassing unbearable vulnerability (an unrealistic combination).
Main Defense: Diving intensely into relationships—confrontation and accusations if deepest vulnerabilities surface.
Secondary Defense: Momentary withdrawing, relationship-hopping.
Demeanor: Emotionally intense, even magnetic in their clear yearning to connect, but with an underlying agitation/volatility shining through at times. They might keep long eye contact or be touchy-feely.
A TuC desperately yearns for closeness but also loathes their own neediness and vulnerability. As a result, they dive into relationships and intense closeness fast, but when they (inadvertently but inevitably) reveal their neediness, they feel exposed and appalled. This tends to lead to them projecting that self-loathing as accusations, which leads to frequent conflicts. Yet their inner needs force them to seek out intimacy again and again.
Surprising Side: While the cycle of closeness and conflict is genuinely agonizing to a TuC, they might over time start romanticizing their patterns, seeing themselves as broken in a romantically tragic way, the crazy lover who's always "too much," and so on—in a way that they don't seek to fix. Failure after failure in relationships would annihilate their self-worth if it wasn't for clinging to this "bad but fascinating" image. Adopting this image can also make them seem more on the edgy, sarcastic, and rebellious side.
Central Issue TL;DR: Their need for closeness paradoxically leads to conflicts.
Subtypes:
Externalizing:
-The cursed
This
suptype is tragically unaware of their behavior patterns, just seeing
themselves as someone who wants to love deeply, but is cursed to end up
with partners who can't handle that. All TuC's project, but "the cursed"
buys into their projection so fully, that they fail to see their own
part in the conflicts even in hindsight. TuC's conflicts often start
with them revealing more of their own neediness than they're comfortable
with, which "the cursed" instantly interprets as their partner forcing
them into this desperate and humiliating position by not filling their
needs in time. This triggers their rage - "the cursed" is indeed the
more confrontational subtype.
"The cursed" is the TuC who hops from
one short-lived relationship to the next, seemingly learning nothing. At
most they start to suspect their taste in partners is flawed, and they
might in fact unconsciously start to go for more emotionally unavailable
partners just to strengthen this internal narrative. They might often
lament how there's no true love left in the world, or things of that
sort.
Internalizing:
-The misunderstood
The
misunderstood is more likely to see themselves as flawed, but unable to
pinpoint exactly how. They'll start conflicts time and time again, but
soon regret it - less for acting how they did, more for the painful
separation from the intense connection they crave. So they might go back
to their partner (/close friend etc) and tearfully beg for
reconciliation, without truly addressing what was going on. Their
self-awareness is barely better than "the cursed's" - they tend to feel
just deeply misunderstood, at best they realize that they often
overreact, that they are "temperamental". Still, they tend to be less
explosive than "the cursed", being more inward-turned and carrying a
moody and mysterious vibe. This is the subtype likely to start
romanticizing their own brokenness. Their relationships tend to be
longer than "the cursed's", but usually with an on/off-quality. They can
also go longer times between relationships, just curling into their own
brooding, but eventually the yearning for connection compels them to
find someone again.
Intimidating Altruist (InA)
Main Category: Autonomy Types
Secondary Category: Facade Types
View of World: Demanding, draining, intrusive
View of People: Bottomless wells of needs - whether genuine or selfish, they will take and take either way
Main Obsession: Protection and freedom from demands
Main Defense: Intimidating/repelling facade
Secondary Defense: Sporadic hostility towards people who "get through" the facade
Demeanor: Varies, but often a bit cold and standoffish, prickly or snappy, though with a teasing sense of humor.
An InA presents a prickly, cold, or even mean facade, but underneath, they are prone to self-sacrificing due to weak, porous boundaries (often stemming from an oppressive or enmeshed childhood). This unapproachable facade keeps people at a distance because if they let others closer, an InA might slip into people-pleasing and over-giving behaviors. They have a special empathy for those "suffering in secret" and might try to help them beyond what's reasonable. In relationships, their behavior can feel like whiplash, alternating between pampering care and pushing people away with coldness.
An InA's boundaries are like a wide but vaguely defined buffer zone that someone persistent enough might cross, despite the InA trying to repel them with a hostile jab here and there. An InA might even tolerate someone trampling their boundaries for a time, all while building resentment. Their behavior is overall exhaustingly unpredictable, fickle, and inscrutable.
Some InAs see themselves as villains (with an occasional redemption complex driving their altruism), while others are self-aware of their mask and underlying fragility.
Surprising Side: You might be fooled into thinking that InAs aren't dead serious about conflict and that their boundaries can be played with. But once you've shamelessly used an InA's altruistic side and they realize it wasn't a one-off accident, you become their unforgivable nemesis. They might put just as much effort into ruining your life as they did into helping you out earlier.
Central Issue TL;DR: A boundaryless core needs to be protected by an intimidating/unapproachable facade.
Subtypes:
Externalizing:
-The begrudging samaritan
Despite
their prickly exterior, this subtype is quite sociable. In fact their
"prickliness" often comes across as teasing**,** which dances a fine
line between playful and mean-spirited. They still try to keep people on
their toes with that and the occasional sharper jab. Spending more time
with people, they're more prone to giving into their "helpful
tendencies" (which they despise). They might help someone out majorly
with a scoffing attitude of "fine, I'll do this for you, 'cause your sad
face bothers me", while at other times their behavior swings into
outright hostile territory (snappy, fiery flavor), baffling everyone.
The reason is, that one way or another, they felt used,
underappreciated, taken for granted. Or maybe simply sick of their own
"softness", feeling the need to reinforce their shell. The begrudging
samaritan is indeed the most fickle, most intensely hot-and-cold subtype
of InA.
Internalizing:
-The fool's gold
With
a more effectively intimidating and unapproachable facade, this subtype
comes across as a lone wolf. They're not truly uninterested in people
though, and secretly enjoy observing and being present - if they bring a
hint of unease to the people around them, even better (they take it as
proof that they're not the "weak softie" they fear being inside). There
are cracks in this act though, and every once in a while someone slips
through - "the fool's gold" sees someone suffering and can't help but
show a surprising warm and caring side of themselves. This might make
people think, that under the hard shell, there's a loving heart of gold,
that needs to be coaxed out. But trying to chip away at their shell, or
squeeze ouf more kindness, is exactly what makes "the fool's gold"
double down on their defenses (usually cold and spiteful in flavor
rather than "the begrudging samaritan's" fiery/snappy hostility). They
hate nothing more than being seen as exploitable, and that's what kind
and caring equates to in their mind.
Main Category: Facade Types
Secondary Category: Dependent Types
View of World: A bleak and merciless place to survive.
View of People: Everyone is selfish, but they are a "necessary evil" for your survival.
Main Obsession: Getting by without grueling effort.
Main Defense: A sweet and sympathetic facade (to get what they want).
Secondary Defense: Outright deception.
Demeanor: Sweet, sympathetic, and endearing, if a bit helpless/lazy.
A SwE presents a warm and sweet facade, appearing harmless, even endearingly childlike. But underneath, they are driven by an amorally selfish survival mindset, which stems from a neglectful childhood where they had to prioritize themselves. This innocent veneer helps them to avoid confrontation and consequences for behaviors such as casual deceit, and using friends for material gain and favors that they don't plan to return.
Seeing life as "just something to survive," they lack long-term planning and ambition, and are plagued by pervasive feelings of powerlessness and discontent. Some genuinely see themselves as sweet and innocent (often with a victim complex), while others are self-aware of their mask and secretly cynical.
Surprising Side: Deep inside, a SwE feels bitter about "having to" put on a persona in order to survive. When they see some people being very authentic and still thriving, envy can take over to the point that they resort to subtle, small-scale sabotage just to make that person's life a little less easy. This person could even be their friend, who they benefit from at the same time.
Central Issue TL;DR: A harmless and pleasant facade is necessary to guard their amoral core.
Subtypes:
Externalizing:
-The fraud:
This
subtype is the cynical, self-aware SwE - they know that they're using
others to their advantage and that they're putting on a fake persona.
They know that they don't have a solid justification for that, but they
hardly care - deep in their bones it still feels justified (due to their
childhood, where basic care wasn't a given) and that's enough for them.
Since they are so conscious of their manipulations, they can be both
particularly charming and particularly effective in chasing their
self-interest and using others. This doesn't translate, however, to
grand machiavellian schemes - like all SwE's, they are not ambitious or
far-sighted, but mostly satisfied "getting by".
Internalizing:
-The wronged
This
subtype for one has a strong internal narrative of being an innocent
victim in life - a sweet, lovable and sensitive person, who just always
ends up mistreated and facing hardship. They don't consciously "act out"
a sweet persona as much as they internalize that role deeply and "lean
into it" more or less in various situations. They're not oblivious to
reality - they recognize when they do something technically wrong or
deceptive, but they instantly spin justifications for it, focused on
them being in such a hard situation, other people being so heartless
etc.
Main Category: Turmoil Types
Secondary Category: Reclusive Types
View of World: Miserable, grim hellscape to suffer through
View of People: Deluded annoyances or unfairly lucky/privileged targets of spiteful envy
Main Obsession: "Opening people's eyes to reality's horrors," also known as spreading the misery that consumes them
Main Defense: "Brutal honesty," raining on parades, and ruining moods
Secondary Defense: Active sabotage against "overly happy people," out of envy
Demeanor: Brooding, sulking, or seething; death glares and eye-rolls galore. Alternatively, they could come across as fragile and malaised, wallowing in self-pity rather than wanting any help.
Pessimism, nihilism, and misery are deeply ingrained in the ViG's worldview. Highly resistant to positive thought patterns, their pessimism serves as a defense mechanism against disappointments, which they likely experienced one too many of in their childhood. Subconsciously, they harbor deep, repressed envy toward happier individuals and often act vindictively, seeking to diminish others' joy, sometimes cruelly. They believe thriving people are "deluded" and deserve to be brought down. Presentations vary from a "misery-enforcer" with a clear sadistic streak to being self-pitying with a victim complex.
Surprising Side: Some ViGs don't look overtly hostile; in fact, they might look sympathetic in a fragile, malaised, deeply melancholic way, like tormented artists. They might lament their life, the world, and their "ailments"... but don't be fooled, they don't want help or even comfort. The only acceptable reaction is confirming their beliefs and wallowing in misery with them. And even then, they'll see you as a poser who still doesn't understand true misery clearly enough.
Central Issue TL;DR: A pathologically negative outlook with a vindictive drive to "spread misery" (conscious or not).
Subtypes:
Externalizing:
-The misery-enforcer
These
ViG's are not satisfied just sulking alone in their grim world view -
they feel compelled to convince others, that misery is the truth,
anything more hopeful a pathetic delusion. They might not settle for
just ruining moods with cynical jabs and spiteful diatribes - if someone
seems way too thriving for their standards, they'll resort to actual
sabotage. This behavior stems from bitter envy, whether they're
conscious of that or not (usually not - they see sabotage as a way to
"bring someone back to reality").
Internalizing:
-The fragile victim
This
subtype seems a lot more sympathetic on the surface - they might seem
shy, depressed, vaguely malaised... But they, too, bring misery to the
people around them through their constant lamenting and absolute refusal
to accept help, let alone helpful advice. In fact, they'll take great
offense at "helpful advice", since as ViG's they too believe only in
utter pessimism and misery. Their immense victim-complex also assures,
that they always blame other people - for example the well-intentioned
advice-giver will be bitterly accused of thoroughly misunderstanding
them/twisting the knife of their suffering through deluded nonsense
etc... Oh, and if someone who used to wallow in misery with them
suddenly finds happiness? The greatest betrayal!
Main Category: Eccentric Types
Secondary Category: Chaos Types
View of World: Restrictive and tedious, not understanding, doesn't suit or make sense to them.
View of People: Rigid "normies" who don't understand and deserve to be disturbed.
Main Obsession: "Doing your own thing" even if—and especially if—it aggravates others.
Main Defense: Stubborn insistence on disregarding and willingly breaking social norms.
Secondary Defense: Forming your own logic where it makes perfect sense to act the way you do; the failure of others to understand implies your superiority.
Demeanor: Uninhibited, even unhinged; could be loud or disrespect personal space, odd manners/habits quickly become apparent.
An AbE comes across as childlike and stubbornly irrational in their bafflingly obnoxious and abrasive behaviors. They may impose weird demands on social interactions, vehemently insist on outright delusional beliefs—seemingly to provoke others—and maintain disruptive habits.
While sharing an "alien" quality with the SeA, an AbE's persona appears almost intentionally crafted to annoy, disrupt, and defy conventional sensibilities—a motivation they tend to strongly deny. Possible childhood causes are: receiving only negative attention or attention through negative means, a counter-reaction to oppressive discipline, or constant misattunement/misunderstanding from caretakers, which resulted in "not even wanting to be understood" as a defense against disappointment.
Surprising Side: The very audacity of an AbE might attract some people to them, especially people who crave chaos or intensity in their own ways. An AbE might even unconsciously start showing some consideration to these friends or allies; nothing much, but at least they won't target them with their most infuriating antics. If an AbE ends up in the company of rebellious people, they can become a sort of mascot in this group, a court jester of sorts.
Central Issue TL;DR: Causes annoyance in several baffling ways and refuses to tone it down one bit.
Subtypes:
Externalizing:
-Annoyance artist
For
someone indifferent to being disliked, the annoyance artist is
suprisingly outgoing - they're drawn to where people are gathered and
things are happening. They might not be social in the typical sense, but
they need an audience for their "show". And they do indeed go out of
their way to get noticed (to put it nicely) through their absurd antics.
Any AbE might vehemently deny intentionally aggravating people, but in
the annoyance artist's case that's particularly hard to believe.
Internalizing:
-Stubborn nuisance
This
subtype on the other hand might even fool you with their "I'm just an
eccentric doing my own thing" -act for a while. They don't avoid people,
but neither do they consistently seek out social situations or push
themselves into the center of attention. They stay more on the
sidelines, but act as a steady resistance against anything going
sensibly or smoothly. Their disregard for other people's comfort also
quickly becomes evident - they must do things "their way" (ie a grating
and baffling way) and "consideration" is a concept they despise with
irrational vitriol. Every AbE tends to have "habits" rather than just
impulsive disruption, but the stubborn nuisance tends to stick with each
habit longer. They also have a grumpier demeanor than the seemingly
upbeat annoyance artist - giving almost ViG-like vibes at times.
Main Category: Confrontation Types
Secondary Category: Chaos Types
View of World: Oppressive, unbearably dull and monotonous, lackluster.
View of People: Much-needed sources of stimulation, fascinating to poke and prod, though the majority are frustratingly calm/boring by default.
Main Obsession: Feeling intensity through antagonistic interaction.
Main Defense: Provocation, aggression, dominance.
Secondary Defense: Adrenaline-chasing antics, setting yourself up to be punished.
Demeanor: Strong bravado, energetic, takes up space shamelessly, with a glint of mischief or a contentious challenge in their eyes.
An AnI paradoxically seeks "connection" through instigating, antagonistic, and aggressive behavior. Vulnerability feels threatening to them, so they substitute it with the emotional intensity of confrontation, associating strong reactions and even pain with connection. Neutrality or dismissal is intolerable for them; even being hated, feared, or treated harshly is preferable to that. Even "friendly" dynamics with an AnI individual are riddled with power struggles, dares ("Do this or you're a coward!"), boundary-pushing, and torment disguised as teasing.
The presentation ranges from domineering (wants to "win" the fights they instigate) to a less common presentation with masochistic tendencies (picks fights, but subconsciously wants to be punished).
Surprising Side: You might think that an AnI just hates everyone (or barely tolerates some allies), but they can, in fact, get very attached to people, despite treating them like their personal tyrant-tormentor. As long as "their close ones" tolerate their behavior without ignoring them (which AnI can't stand) or completely walking away, AnI can even be surprisingly loyal and helpful—especially if that help involves something risky, aggressive, or physically strenuous. They enjoy this position of being seen as "the muscle" in their group.
Central Issue TL;DR: INTENSE provocation/antagonism, with physical aggression often present.
Subtypes:
Externalizing:
-Domineering tormentor
This
is the most common subtype for AnI - they instigate, they fight
(whether physical or not) and want to emerge as winners from whatever
conflicts they stir up. The battle to stay on top of the power dynamics
(with reckless audacity rather than calculating cunning) and the
confrontations involved in that are their life's blood, and the
victories the thrilling cherry on top.
Internalizing:
-Self-punishing instigator
This
subtype provokes and instigates just as much, but they don't really
care for "winning" - in fact, "losing", being punished and "put in their
place" is a flavor of intensity they especially crave, whether they're
conscious about that or not. They might consistently pick fights where
odds are not in their favor, or inexplicably put themselves in trouble's
way. Whereas the domineering tormentor hardly feels guilt or shame, the
self-punishing instigator might in fact blame themselves relentlessly,
but not in a constructive way that would lead to change - rather as one
more way to feel intensity through punishment.
Main Category: Eccentric Types
Secondary Category: Reclusive Types
View of World: Dissatisfactory, insufficient, boring and bleak; "not for them."
View of People: Mostly indifferent and uninterested, aside from rare instances where they project their fantasies onto an idealized person.
Main Obsession: Having their needs met fully through their immersive daydream universe.
Main Defense: Escape into elaborate, immersive daydreams.
Secondary Defense: Sometimes projecting deluded views from their fantasies onto reality to make it more bearable.
Demeanor: Absent-minded, just drifting along, might mumble to themselves, quietly laugh, or make subtle facial expressions as if playing out a daydream scenario.
DaI individuals live inside their daydream world, with a pathological disinterest in real-life experiences or goals and ambitions. As fantasies substitute for their needs, there is no foothold for genuine relationships or attachments. At most, a DaI might idealize someone from a distance, based on their projected fantasies rather than the true person.
A DaI might not seem particularly assertive, so one might think they can be dragged along or bossed around. For a moment, this might work if it seems like the path of least resistance to a DaI and they can escape into daydreams while doing what you ask of them. But when the demands seem actually bothersome and distracting from their daydreams, a DaI has no problem simply acting like you don't exist. At the end of the day, they are immune to social pressure, which might surprise many who take them for just shy and soft dreamers.
Surprising Side: Sometimes a DaI has phases where they seem surprisingly outgoing and sociable. But don't be fooled—the truth is, their daydream universe started to feel a bit stale, and they are immersing themselves in real-life situations for the sole purpose of "feeding it material to take inspiration from." You might think you're hanging out with a friend, but in reality, you are hanging out with a hungry universe looking for things about your behavior it could "devour" and form into something new in their personal storylines.
Central Issue TL;DR: An elaborate imaginary world and detachment from reality—not just occasional daydreams, but a universe too grand and immersive to leave space for real-life connections.
Subtypes:
Externalizing:
-The deluded idealist
While
all DaI's are very internally oriented, the deluded idealist is still
notably more prone to projecting their fantasies onto the real world. It
could take the form of parasocial relationships - even with people they
actually interact with, being "parasocial" in the sense, that their
idea of the person and their connection is completely divorced from
reality. This doesn't mean that they'd delusionally cling to people -
rather, they instinctively keep their distance to protect their warped
daydreams about the connection. They might similarly project magical
qualities onto real-life places and objects.
Internalizing:
-The stand-alone universe
This
subtype for one hardly ties their daydream world to the tangible one
surrounding them in any way. At most they "take inspiration" from
reality, but even then make sure to distort that element into something
hardly recognizable, before it's allowed to enter their personal
universe. Similarly, if they observe a person with an intriguing vibe,
they won't start idealizing the person, but they dismantle that vibe in
their minds and use it to construct something barely adjacent in their
inner world. They look and are very absent-minded, outright negligent of
reality (sometimes barely taking care of themselves) outside of the
moments when they feel a serious need to "hunt for inspiration".
It's free to start.