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It's your soulmate, yo

Yee haw, Yee yee, or yee naw
Yee Haw
Yee Yee
Yee Naw
Would they punch a child for five dollars?
Absolutely
Probably not
If invited to a costume party, they...
Don't go
Come in Plainclothes
Lovingly Hand-stitch their costume
Come as a part of someone else's costume
What are they bringing to the potluck?
Main Course/They're hosting
Desserts
Sides
Shows up with nothing
Brings something store-bought
Accused of murder, they...
"Oh, did I kill someone?"
Provide a solid alibi
Start sobbing
Socks in bed?
Yeh
Nah
If you call them upset at 2:00AM, what do they do?
Listens/Is helpful
Hangs up
Brings food/comes over
Redirects you to the right person
Would you invite them to meet your parents?
Definitely
Nope
Make an excuse
Where would they take you on a date?
Fancy restaurant
Nostalgic Restaurant
Movies
Picnic
Museum
If you got them a cringey t-shirt, would they wear it?
Yes
NO
How much time do they spend with you?
As much as humanly possible
A healthy amount
They're too busy
What do they impulsively buy in the checkout lane?
Snacks
Toys/Junk
Gifts
They're financially stable
Can they keep a cactus alive?
Yes
RIP
Would they donate an organ to you?
Yes
No
They're not compatible
They don't have any organs to spare
Would they pack you a lunch?
Yes
No
Not for you
They try, but it's inedible
Do they have poop stains?
Why would they have poop stains?
Yes. Absolutely. Love a good poo stain.
Are they a hugger?
Yes
No
Depends (not the adult diaper)
Do they hold your hair back when you're throwing up?
Yes
No
Maybe, Maybe not. Who knows.
Would you trust them with kids?
Yeah
No way
In a pinch
Do they laugh at butt jokes?
Yes
No
They're the one making them
Are they lactose intolerant?
Yes
No
Yes but they don't care
Do they have a driver's license?
Yes
No
They got it taken away
No but drives anyway
Failed the test
Do they know how to dance?
Yes
Nope.
They know the basics
Only in secret
They stomp on your toes. Like intentionally.
Do they do drugs?
Yes
No
They sell them
In secret
Only socially
They're sober or currently in rehab
They do black tar heroin.
Would they go with you to watch Twilight in theatres?
Yes
No
They would, but they're gonna make a shirt complaining about it
They offer to take you
They burn down the theatre in the name of freedom
What instrument do they play?
Flute
Saxophone
Trumpet
Clarinet
Trombone
French Horn
Tuba
Percussion
Drum Major
They don't play
How do they react if you fart in their presence?
They politely ignore it
They compliment it
They call you out on it
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