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What kind of infectious disease are you

You are in a club for gay wizards. The old club president died from a runaway case of scoliosis and you are campaigning to be his replacement. Your friend Ben, who is also campaigning, is a better wizard than you. Do you:
Join forces with Ben and accept a role as Vice President
Plant child pornography in Ben's underwear drawer and make an anonymous tip
Just campaign and do your dang best
Kill Ben and suspend his body in the rafters of your club house as a warning to other potential candidates
Just give up and die
Which of these sound types are you most likely to make
A sizzle
A boom boom
A weeooweeoo
Helicopter
Meat slap
A sizzle
A boom boom
A weeooweeoo
Helicopter
Meat slap
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