What character are you?

Country you’d like to live in?

Greece

Italy

England

Whose happiness more important to you?

Friends

Family

Your own

How would you describe your style?

Some might call me boring. I call it sensible.

Overdressed would be an understatement.

I wear so many flowery prints that bees follow me.

Has anyone seen my signet ring?

Dungarees and smocks, baby.

What three words could be used to describe you?

What would your ideal date be?

Dinner at a classy restaurant.

Anything so long as it’s fun.

As long as you spend time together, who cares where you are?

A good chat over cream tea.

I have no interest in dating anybody.

What would you do if somebody offended you?

Give them a bollocking

Blame yourself

Threaten to shoot them but then forgive them entirely

Have a frank talk with them about their behaviour

Hold a grudge forever

Roll your eyes at them

How would you cheer up a friend when they’re upset?

Tell them how much they mean to you

Tell them to stop being a wet wipe

Make them a cup of tea

Talk them through what’s upsetting them

Fuck off to Greece for 2 months

Get them massively drunk

What do you look for in a partner?

I don’t want a partner, I want financial stability

If they’re not going to emotionally wreck me I’m not sure what they could offer

Same sense of humour

Accepting me for what I am and what I’m not

I’m already married to my job

The partner I already have, nothing else will suffice

How intelligent are you?

I once forgot my own middle name

I know five languages and never got below an A at school

Baby, I went to an Ivy League/Russell Group. Figure it out.

Does creative intelligence count?

Does that define us?

Most consider me intelligent but I don’t want to seem a braggart

What’s your relationship with your parents like?

Pretty standard

It would take six complicated diagrams to explain

I’m not in contact with them

They are hideous and I love them

All they ever do is worry over me