What character from 'The Guide' are you?

What do you think the most intelligent Earth-bound species is?

Mice

Human Beings (the female sort)

Coriander

The French

What is your preferred method of transport?

A mule

Your mom!

A gold-plated carrage driven by enslaved pixies

Just a car...weirdo.

What is the worst thing that could ever happen to you?

Having people bulldoze your house in the morning.

Someone making you tea but using too much milk so the beverage turns into this pale-ass soup liquid and everything is ruined.

The French.

Being conscious.

In space, we all need to be able to shapeshift. What is your preferred form?

Gaseous gloop

Reptiloid

A star made up of dreams

Precious metals

Welcome on board, Earthling. What would you like to drink?

Coke

Nothing, I like the thirst.

Anything, I'm not fussy!

Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

I know you should never ask this, but what do you think of politics?

I don't.

Down with the Capital Building!

I enjoy myself a good protest now and then, thanks.

It sucks: always has, always will.

Before we continue, let's have some brunch. You can pick a restaurant.

The Restaurant at the End of the Galaxy

Some place with seductive women dancing in cages that make me hate my own body

My couch

Just give me a Provita biscuit.

On this quest, you need a secret weapon. What is yours?

My sense of humour

A sharp stick

Snacks

Improbability drive

You've won the Galactic lottery! What design specifications do you give Magrathea to build your perfect planet?

Everything must be shiny.

Everything must be made of food.

Black and empty, like my outlook on life.

Earth, but with fewer French people.

When I say 'pet', you say...

Spoilt little shits

My favourite type of person

Inhumane play things

I don't understand the question.

Besides existing, what do you do all day?

Think about the next book club meeting

Daydream about my next meal

Think how lovely it would be if everything went away

Ask my secretary

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