What world leader are you?

When talking to the press you prefer to:

Write their questions for them

Emphasise repeated hyperbole with hand gestures

Repeat a soundbite regardless of the question

Pose veiled threats

How would you dispatch your political enemies?

Shoot them with an anti-aircraft gun

Poison them with radioactive coffee

Accuse them of being the devil incarnate

Appoint them as foreign secretary

What's the naughtiest thing you've ever done?

Clung onto a near-dictatorship for 20 years

Got a prostitute to piss on me while another films it

Oppressed an entire population

Run through a field of wheat

Your country faces an energy crisis, do you...

Sell off your infrastructure to the Chinese

Drill holes to crack open the earth using radioactive material

Sell off your infrastructure to the local mafia

Power everything on the tears of future generations

A rogue nation is gearing up for nuclear war, do you:

Kick it off with a tweet

Focus on taking money from nurses

Who?! Who threatens my glorious country? They will PAY!

Bet on the winner

Fascists threaten to destablise your society, do you:

Blame antifascists for upsetting them in the first place

Impossible! I banned all fascist groups. You must be wrong.

We only have one ideology

Remind them that you fought fascism (well...not you personally, but people before you...who are now dead...at the hands of your predecessors)

The LGBT+ community want the same rights as everyone else. How do you handle the situation?

Stay silent (despite voting against them whenever possible)

Ban them from even speaking

Ban them from the Army

There are no homosexuals in my country, you fool!

What would you do if it looked like you'd lose the election?

Ask Russian hackers for dirt on your opponent

Election? Hahahahaaaa!!

The electorate don't choose me, I choose the electorate

Bribe a terrorist-sympathising party to support you

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