Is this from The Onion or something our friend Arthur said?

"He must think he’s a Rockefeller, buying a special glass with a stem on it because he’s too good to drink wine from any old cup like us regular folks."

"In order to be successful, you need everything you need in order to succeed."

"Was there something in the way I spoke that made him think I’m a man of means?"

"Should Jews be able to pray at the Western Wall in peace? Absolutely. And should Palestinians be able to worship at the Al-Aqsa Mosque? Of course. No one’s denying that. But what about the gamers?"

"Some of us are born with human faces and some of us are born in a tank in space. They come down and take our human form and walk among us and eventually they run for president."

"Ryan Gosling and Ryan Reynolds are both named Ryan."

"Your steak always tastes better when you’ve got a sworn statement from the animal authorizing the consumption of 12 ounces of its flesh."