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Avoidant attachment test: discover your relationship style

Quick, free avoidant attachment quiz. Discover your style with instant results.

Editorial: Review CompletedCreated By: Robbert Van HeuvenUpdated Aug 26, 2025
2-5mins
Profiles
Paper art shows two cutout figures back to back with floating hearts and layered torn paper on sky blue background.

This quiz helps you explore avoidant attachment in your relationships and notice how you handle closeness and space. Get a quick snapshot of your patterns with instant results and simple tips to try. For related topics, see the fear of intimacy test, the am i emotionally unavailable quiz, or the childhood emotional neglect test.

Your ideal Friday night looks like...
Solo unwind with a book or project
Cozy hang with one trusted person, no rush
Spontaneous plan that lets me slip out when I want
Mapping next week while sharing takeout and ideas
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When a partner texts, Can we talk now? your gut move is...
Suggest a time later so I can be ready
Ask for a quick vibe check and pace from there
Propose a short call with a clear end time
Request a brief agenda to focus the chat
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A surprise weekend trip appears. You...
Thank them and ask for a day to consider
Smile, ask for a few details, and feel into it
Check exit options and say yes if I can keep space
Open a shared doc to plan logistics together
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During a heated argument, your preferred next step is...
Take a solo breather to reset before rejoining
Ask for a gentle time-out with a hand squeeze
Call a 20-minute pause with a clear return time
Outline key points and decide what to table
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The compliment that lands best is...
I respect how self-reliant you are
I feel safe with your steady warmth
You know how to defuse intensity with grace
Your clarity helps us make sense of big feelings
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Group chat pings all weekend. You...
Mute it; check once when I choose
Skim and reply to a few that feel warm
Pop in, drop a note, then dip when it ramps up
Create a recap so everyone is aligned
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Pick the house-plant vibe that matches you in relationships
Cactus: low maintenance, thrives with light and space
Fern: opens with humidity and gentle care
Air plant: perches lightly, prefers breathable setups
Climber: grows best with a trellis and plan
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A partner wants to start a new hobby together. You...
Suggest alternating solo and shared sessions
Try short, low-pressure sessions first
Agree if we can set check-ins and exits
Request a structure and learning plan
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Returning from a solo trip, your re-entry preference is...
A day to unpack and settle before connecting
A soft, short catch-up and expand later
A planned coffee debrief with a clean end time
A shared timeline and photo review session
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Merging calendars works best when...
There is guaranteed solo time blocked in
We note energy levels alongside events
We add buffers and regroup points
Everything has tags and shared visibility rules
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Your preferred apology format is...
Short, sincere, and followed by space
Warm tone plus a check on how I am doing
Clear repair plan and when we will revisit
Specific acknowledgement of impact and steps
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At a party, your comfort with public affection is...
Light and private; save more for later
Small signals if I feel safe with the crowd
Quick check-ins, then I roam freely
Agree on cues so we both know the plan
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Sharing passwords feels...
Unnecessary unless essential for logistics
Possible if introduced gently over time
Only with boundaries and reversible steps
Fine if we define use-cases and norms
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A partner cries mid-discussion. You tend to...
Offer tissues and suggest a pause to regroup
Sit close, slow down, and match softness
Check if a short break would help, promise return
Name feelings you observe and ask what is needed
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Vacation style you trust most is...
Parallel play: together, doing our own thing
Light itinerary with cozy anchors
Flexible plan with eject options
Clear schedule with built-in rest blocks
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Working late, your partner asks for a quick call. You...
Text reassurance and propose a time tomorrow
Send a voice note with warmth and boundaries
Offer a 10-minute call with a timer
Ask for the top 1-2 points to cover now
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Meeting a partner's extended family, your move is...
Attend briefly and schedule decompression later
Arrive early with an exit buddy and check-ins
Drive separately to keep a flexible out
Coordinate roles, names, and talking points
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Discussing moving in together, you prioritize...
Personal corners and non-negotiable alone time
A gradual trial with soft landing options
Clear conflict-pausing rules and re-entry times
A playbook for chores, bills, and quiet hours
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When both of you work from home, the best setup is...
Separate zones and scheduled connection breaks
Soft check-ins based on how each day feels
Signal-based focus times with opt-out options
Shared calendar blocks and do-not-disturb rules
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You receive a long, vulnerable text. You respond by...
Acknowledging and asking to talk when I am settled
Sending warmth and asking how to pace the reply
Thank them, propose a time-limited call
Mirror key points and suggest next steps
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Needing space always means you love less.
True
False
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Scheduling a pause can help difficult talks stay calmer.
True
False
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Logic and emotion cannot work together in a single conversation.
True
False
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Clear return times can make breaks feel safer.
True
False
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If you do not share everything, the relationship is dishonest.
True
False
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Body sensations can give early clues about overwhelm.
True
False
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The only healthy way to handle conflict is to talk until it is fully solved in one sitting.
True
False
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Some people feel more open after concrete plans are set.
True
False
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Taking a timeout guarantees your partner will feel abandoned.
True
False
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Gentle boundaries can invite trust rather than reject it.
True
False
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Profiles

Discover where you fall on the avoidant spectrum - from secure connections to emotional distancing - and gain clear insights into your relationship style. These profiles, based on your avoidant attachment style quiz results, offer defining traits and actionable tips to help you foster healthier bonds.

  1. The Secure Explorer -

    You scored low on our avoidant attachment style quiz, showing balanced autonomy and intimacy. You trust easily and communicate your needs. Tip: Continue to nurture open dialogue to maintain secure connections.

  2. The Selective Opener -

    You show mild avoidance on this avoidant attachment quiz, preferring to share feelings with a select few. Loyalty matters, and you thrive in deep, exclusive bonds. Tip: Practice gradual vulnerability to build broader trust.

  3. The Independent Strategist -

    Your avoidant quiz results highlight a strong focus on self-reliance and independence. You value personal space and may hesitate to fully lean in. Tip: Challenge yourself to embrace small moments of closeness to enrich relationships.

  4. The Emotional Shield -

    You scored high on the avoidant attachment style quiz, often keeping emotional walls firmly in place. You guard against vulnerability to protect your independence. Tip: Start by expressing appreciation or gratitude to chip away at those defenses.

  5. The Hesitant Seeker -

    This outcome on our avoidant attachment quiz reveals a tension between wanting closeness and fearing it. You desire intimacy but retreat at the first sign of rejection. Tip: Work with a trusted friend or therapist to build your confidence in safe connections.

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