You're a frog! Can you avoid being dissected by a freshman biology class?
Before you start the Wreckventure, we at Wreckfeed want to make sure that you have an accurate depiction of what a "frog" is. A "frog" is an abstract concept, yes, and it may be true that each of us has a "frog" near our heart. "Frogs" are usually smaller than a skyscraper and bigger than a grain of sand, however exceptions to this rule do often occur. "Frogs" are always left-handed, and if you ever encounter a right-handed "frog," then you can be sure that this "frog" is not really a "frog," but is rather a "frog" impersonater or a "frog" phony, if you will. Lastly, "frogs" are not to be confused with sheep, as even though both are green and known for wool production, sheep will instantaneously erupt into flames when in contact with water, while "frogs" will erupt into flames after a minute or so.
I understand
Oh, okay, hotshot. Think you know all about frogs, do ya? Well then, pal, we have one question for you, buddy! What sound does a frog make?
Ribbit
Baaaaaaa
Result: GODDAMNIT! WE FRICKIN TOLD YOU NOT TO CONFUSE A FROG WITH A SHEEP! It is clear that you still have no idea what a frog is. You are truly an imbusile, a buffoon! Please refer to the following link to adequately inform yourself before you continue the Wreckventure. http://allaboutfrogs.org/weird/general/whatisfrog.html
Return to checkpoint
Now, what sound do frogs make?
Ribbit
Awesome, you clearly know everything there is to know about frogs! Anyway, you are a frog, and you miraculously survived being trapped in a jar with formaldehyde preservative for a week. You are about to be dissected, and you can't let that happen because you love it when your insides aren't being cut out of you.
Crap, I don't want to be dissected!
Who's dissecting me? It better not be those shithead freshmen!
God, those freshmen suck for trying to dissect you. You have to escape. How are you going to do this?
Think about the useful frog qualities you have that could help you in this situation.
Pretend to be a human to fool the freshmen into not dissecting you.
Rally up your frog friends to fight the freshmen.
Get distracted by that fly in the corner.
Ooh! A fly!
Oh boy!
Yum!
Today must be your lucky day!
Stick out your tongue to catch the fly
Try to befriend the fly
Okay, try to stay cool. What do you want to say to the fly?
"Hey fly, want to be friends? I promise I won't eat you!"
"I murdered your entire family for lunch."
Wow, would ya look at that. The fly is flipping you off. Nice going, jerk!
Nice! You caught the fly!
Yeah, this is the life
RESULT: OH NO! While you were taking your time with a hearty fly snack, the freshmen grabbed you and started dissecting you! Crap!
"Well, whoop-dee-frickin-do! Finally, a frog that isn't spending his day trying to murder me and my family. I guess we could be friends." Yay! You have a best friend now!
Ask the fly to marry you
Have a montage with your new best friend
"What? No!"
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