Which Lotus Eater are you?
Discover Your Inner Lotus Eater
Are you curious about which Lotus Eater best represents your personality? Take this fun quiz to uncover your inner self! Answer a series of engaging questions and find out how your choices define your character.
There's no right or wrong answer—just honest reflections on who you are. Here’s what to expect:
- Multiple choice questions
- Unique personality traits
- Light-hearted approach
What did you study at Uni?
English
Psychology
Something IT related.
History
TV & Radio
Uni? Pah. School of life, mate.
Appearance?
A Sicilian Mobster.
Intimidatingly Aryan.
A vaguely mixed-race Henry the 8th.
A kindly Voldemort.
TomSka's little brother.
A Gary Barlow Toby-Jug.
Your nemesis?
SJW Ex-GF.
People who think I'm foreign because of my swarthy skin.
Anita Sarkeesian, Vaush, Jess Phillips... This might take a while.
The foods on my plate touching.
That "freak-gremlin" Zelensky.
Honestly I'm pretty hostile to most things.
Spare time activity?
Spend time with the wife & kids.
Play Heavy Metal music.
Travel with a nutcase Brummie.
Read Sharpe novels.
Try to convince people I'm entirely Brittonic when I'm clearly an Egyptian monarch.
Go on Piers Morgan and roll my eyes at mental feminists.
How on the spectrum are ya?
It's my Superpower.
Just a little bit *nervous chortle*.
Well, I spend my time painting miniatures...
People think I am. Really, I'm just very surly.
Oh, I'm not autistic, I'm Northern.
Well, I'm pretty fixated on history...
Style of delivery?
The smooth baritone of an audible narrator.
Pro'er dirty northern. Come on, lad.
A refined RP.
A nasal snicker of a voice.
Cockney AF. Riddled with it.
A Shapiro-esque rapid fire.
Sense of humour?
Dry, English sarcasm.
A tasteful little joke slotted in here or there.
Internet memes. They are my first language.
Cheeky chappy jokes to help the facts go down.
Northern crassness & not giving a fu-
Dry, acid ridicule mixed in with my laser-focus diatribes.
Are you more Liberal or Conservative?
I'm pretty socially right-wing. Can't you tell from these guns? *kisses bicep*
I'm a Classic English Liberal.
Eh, centre-right.
I am a product of 4chan *zoom into eye to reveal Pepe sipping tea*
Quite Liberal, I'm more empathetic than the rest.
Vaguely Conservative.
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