Exam Day!

Wow, another school year over again. It's been tough, but due to your hard work and tenacity you've studied hard, and you feel ready to take on the final exams. What do you have for breakfast before heading to school?

Bacon and Eggs

Just a piece of toast

Cereal and a piece of fruit

Nothing, I think it might help to prevent a flare-up of my Secret Illness.

Away to school we go! Normally you'd catch the bus, but this time Mum drives you, because she knows you're nervous. Even so, you only make it just in time. Despite the hurry, your mum says "Sweetie! Good luck with your exam today. Dad and I can't wait to hear about it tonight. Have you got everything you need?'

Pencils and rubber! Check!

Almost forgot my Calculator and protractor

Everything I need.. Plus the sneaky note with a couple of key answers on it.. !

Got everything but a hug from Mum! It's my favourite remedy for my Secret Illness.

You quickly exit the car and your mum drives away. You feel a thrill of doubt. Had you forgotten something? That seems so unlike you. Check your pockets.. What have you forgotten?? Uh oh...

My pill

My one big pill

My one big pill I have to eat at lunch every day

My one big pill I have to eat at lunch every day with a knife and fork in order to prevent an episode brought about by the continued struggle with my Secret Illness.

There's no time! You'll just have to risk it. Run into the exam hall! As quick as you can, you dump your bag at the front of the room and run to your assigned seat with your pencil case. What do you write at the top of your paper?

Time starts now. Question 1: What is the formula known as Pythagoras' Theorem?

A^2 + b^2 = c^2.

2 x Pi x Radius length

Uuuuh.. 7

Maybe we'll come back to this one

The first hour passes. How are you doing?

I hope I finish on time

Trying not to think about it

I've got this in the bag!

I don't care, as long as I am not visited by the family curse we solemnly agreed to call the 'Secret Illness'.

Question 20: Why didn't you bring your pill? It's not like ya coulda missed it!

I know!

How could I miss it? It's huge!

Hang on, what?

Oh no

You shake your head. You look down. There it is, Question 20: What is the powerhouse of the cell?

The Mitochondria

The Membrane

The Nucleus

That was close. But you've got this. Question 21. Which is the closest planet to the sun?

Mercury

Venus

Is Pluto even a real planet, I mean it was, then it wasn't. Now it's a Dwarf planet? That's messed up, because I heard they prefer to be called Little Planets, amirite?.

Mars

Question 12: and what's the deal with breakfast cereal?

Why is breakfast cereal always just a circle of something else?

If I have a bowl of Cheerios, what's the O for?

Is it short for O no, I should have just had coffee?

And I don't feel THAT cheered up, it's cereal!

The student at the desk next to yours looks around confusedly, and you realise you've been laughing. Why?

There's no time, just pick C for the rest of the questions

I've only got a few more to go. I could just skip them?

Knuckle down and try to battle through the last questions. Your grades are at stake!

Try and look at the other tests around you to copy their answers. It's easy with your slightly elongated neck

You look up at the clock. The minute hand is pointing to the 12 and the hour hand is pointing to what looks like some words. They're blurred by the distance, but you don't need to read them to know what they say. The alarm on your watch goes off. The alarm you set to 'MONSTER O'CLOCK'

You look at your test. Has your eyesight changed??

You scratch your head. Is your hair feeling a bit long??

You shift your legs. Have your pants gotten shorter??

You wipe your nose. Has it grown a little??

Oh god. It's happening. It's really happening. Your Secret Illness has finally struck. In the middle of Exam Day!!! You pat your pockets reflexively for a gigantic pill that you already know isn't there. Even if you did have it, you know you couldn't get it down. You feel a thirst you somehow know you will never be able to quench. Oh god. What do you do?

Just try to ignore it, it can't be as bad as the doctors said.

There's nothing these strangely large hands can do to stop me from finishing this exam!

Maybe it'll go away by itself? Maybe nobody will notice.

You're a freak. You were born to fail this exam..

You're finished, or at least as finished as you're going to get. As you stand up from your desk, you accidentally knock it over. You aren't accustomed to your new legs. You clumsily tip over your chair and knock a row of desks over with your unfamiliar body.

Just play it off like it didn't happen

Pretend you did it on purpose

Apologise profusely with a voice that isn't your own.

Try and help people up if they let you

You try and explain, but it's not the time. Everywhere you look, people are recoiling from you. Your voice cracks and reverberates through your body disconcertingly as you fight incoherent sobs of embarrassment. Everybody is staring at you as you move to exit the hall. How do you do this?

Just barrel the exit and leave your paper in your path of destruction.

Try to make eye contact with someone. anyone.

Continue to apologise and run

Just act as normally as you can under the circumstances.

You approach the invigilator's desk. They are clearly terrified, and they quail as they ask, in a tiny voice, 'Where are you going?' Somewhere. Anywhere. What do you say?

I, uh.. Have go to the bathroom

Just need to visit to the little girl's room

"It's private". They don't need to know.

GOTTA HIT THE JOHN

As you run to the bathroom, sobbing, you wipe your running nose on a sleeve that no longer fits you. You push past other students and scream for them not to look at you. You feel like a freak, a monster. How could a merciful creator be so cruel as to allow you to be born like this? You promise yourself with icy resolve to kill God, if he has not already been killed. For how still could a god exist when such an affliction plagues somebody as sinless as you?

You push your way into the bathroom, like a maladapted teenage Frankenstein's monster, hotly pursued by pitchforks and torches escaping into a barn. The inhabitants scream and try to escape like so many brainless seagulls escaping a rabid rottweiler. They will never understand you, and why should they bother? You are a freak. An outcast. A fleshy golem on a journey to untouchability.

You run to the sink, unable to bring yourself to look into the mirror. As you look down, you see foreign hands gripping at the porcelain. Your final, miniscule hope that this is all a dream finally dies, as with dreadful certainty you begin to grapple with the prison of flesh you find yourself trapped inside.

You let out a pathetic whimper as you wrestle with your courage. Finally, after great effort, you lift your head. Through streaming eyes, you see the monstrous visage....

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