Create a horrible date to find out what your worst flaw is
So you have a crush. How do you ask them out?
"Hey, I really like you. Do you wanna go out with me?"
"I don't really like you, but let's date."
"Pretty please, please, please go on a date with me. I'm lonely... :( "
"Date me, bitch."
You ask them out, then proceed to cough and sneeze all over them.
"Do you wanna go on a date with me... and do you mind if my mom comes along?"
You've got nice ankles...
"You remind me of a dog. I like dogs."
"You. Me." Procedes to imitate humping motions.
"Uhhhhh....."
Great, they said yes... surprisingly. Anyway, where is the date taking place?
Abandoned amusement park
movie theater
School
gas station
sketchy alley
dog park
bathroom stall
Mall
Someone's house
beach
So, the date has started, what do you do first?
kiss, but you miss their mouth
Compliment your crush
Spend 20 minutes using the bathroom. Hey, if you gotta go, you gotta go.
Sneeze all over your crush
Trip and fall on your face
Apologize for the presence of your mother.
Apologize for the presence of your ex.
Apologize for the presence of your entire extended family.
Perform your ritual mating dance. Squawking included.
nothing. You both sit in absolute silence.
Reveal that you're a vampire who sparkles in the sun.
You wanted to make a good impression, so you actually brought your crush a gift. What is it?
A rose
Your leftover cereal from this morning that you stuffed into a leaking plastic bag.
Lingerie
A duck
A corpse... You didn't know what else to do with it.
Nothing
You pay your crush a compliment. How does it go?
"Did you fall from heaven? Cause you look like an angel that's been slightly deformed by suffering a fall from a great height."
"I really, really like your ankles."
"mmmm. Yummy."
"You're pretty."
"I only hate you a little bit."
"My Mommy likes you."
"You seem like someone whose good at hiding a body."
"uhhhhh..."
"You're almost as pretty as my ex."
Things are getting steamy. What happens next?
You passionately kiss your crush.
You use the toilet for a half hour this time.
You experience uncontrollable flatulence.
You kiss your mother.
You propose to marry your crush.
You start crying like a baby because you don't get your way.
You break into a musical number.
You feel your crush's ankles sensually.
You are both attacked by a supernatural killer clown.
You both have to run because the police have arrived to investigate a murder that you're ToTaLLy nOt InVoLvED iN....
Now it's time to have something to eat, but what's the food?
icecream
popcorn
whatever's in the toilet bowl.
gum that you scraped off the bottom of a desk.
Your crush.
That man you murdered earlier.
Your Mom.
The leftover cereal in the leaking bag. Duh.
Does anything else eventful happen?
No. Just more silence.
Prolonged eyecontact.
You use the bathroom for an hour.
Your crush pulls off their face to reveal that they were your Mom this whole time!
The killer clown comes back.
You decide to both run away together.
More kissing.
Okay, now it's time to say goodbye for the time being. How do you close things?
"This date was nice. Let's do it again."
"Bye"
You abruptly run away, screaming.
You perform your mating dance again.
"Devil child! Devil Child!"
You and your crush die at the hands of the evil clown.
more prolonged eyecontact.
"uhhhhh..."
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