3. WOW, YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE HEADLINING A FESTIVAL! We’ll reveal your band name.
The tour bus you’re traveling in is so you. It features:
Fog. Inside.
Gold-plated gaming consoles.
A book of poetry about each member.
A fine selection of printed out memes.
You always travel in VIP secrecy. Still, there’s one way to find you before each show:
Eh, the flock of ravens you travel with.
Your squad is the size of a small city.
Your social media check-ins. At culture spots.
Your pre-party can be heard from miles away.
Being global superstars is cool. Your list of stuff you request before each show includes:
Ah of course. A large, black cloud.
The best cereals, snacks and sodas money can buy.
A dish you refer to as The Rolling Scones. Eh.
Fine memes. Printed out... On fine paper.
Ok, let’s go back to being VIP again – your backstage is pretty cool too. It features:
Absolute. Darkness.
One jeweled throne per member.
The old vintage couch you started your band in.
The entire backstage area is a pool party.
These days: opinions on your albums are everywhere. The reviews all say the same thing:
:( “
LIT!”
It’s already vintage IMO.”
I literally can’t even. What is this?”
It’s the same story with the headlines before every show. Newspapers always write:
They don’t write, they just post a black page.
There’s a whole lot of future right here.”
Oi that’s proper classic!”
Urgh, it’s this band again.”
Managers. Can’t live with them, can live without them. You have one and they always:
Hiss at daylight.
(You don’t remember who is who in your squad tbh)
Brag about you. 24/7.
Post tour memes online.
If it isn’t obvious by now, your band name really echoes in your stage decoration:
It looks like a rainy, foggy, pitch-black night.
Huge, golden sculptures of everyone in the group.
Red velvet curtains and tropical palms.
Your DJ booth is more or less a spaceship.
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