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Is My Dad Abusive Quiz: Spot the Signs

Quick, free toxic dad quiz to check for red flags in your relationship. Instant results.

Editorial: Review CompletedCreated By: The Wright FamilyUpdated Aug 27, 2025
2-5mins
Profiles
Paper art shows layered father child silhouettes on dark blue background for quiz on emotional abuse signs

This quiz helps you check for signs of emotional abuse from your dad and understand what they might mean. You'll get clear, private results plus ideas for next steps. If you want more context, try our toxic dad quiz, a narcissistic father quiz, or a parental emotional abuse test.

After a warm family day, he makes a cutting joke in private that stings. What best matches your reaction?
I feel confused and wonder if this even counts as a problem.
I say that joke crossed a line and end the chat early.
I go quiet, replay it in my head, and feel numb afterward.
I worry it could escalate and consider where I could stay tonight.
undefined
When you set a small boundary, he responds with a guilt trip. What do you do next?
I second-guess the boundary and wonder if I overreacted.
I restate the boundary and shorten the conversation.
I feel a familiar heaviness and withdraw to avoid conflict.
I assess safety and consider contacting a hotline or friend ASAP.
undefined
You notice him denying things he clearly said earlier. How does that land for you?
I wonder if my memory is off and start keeping notes.
I say, We already covered this, and pause the call if it continues.
I feel small, confused, and doubt myself afterward.
I feel fear, suspect manipulation, and plan for immediate support.
undefined
He insists on seeing your messages or logs into your accounts without permission.
I am unsure if this is normal and look up privacy norms.
I change passwords and state that my accounts are off-limits.
I stop sharing personal updates and avoid calls to feel safer.
I document the intrusion and consider legal or crisis resources.
undefined
During blowups, objects get slammed or broken around you.
I minimize it as just stress and tell myself it is not about me.
I state I will leave if property is damaged again and follow through.
I freeze, stay hyperalert, and feel the fear linger afterward.
I treat it as a safety red flag and plan where to go immediately.
undefined
He controls money you earn or demands receipts for your spending.
I am not sure if this is control or just concern; I keep track quietly.
I set a boundary about financial privacy and get support to hold it.
I feel shame about money and avoid purchases I need.
I recognize financial control and seek expert advice urgently.
undefined
He pressures you to stop seeing certain friends or relatives.
I question whether those relationships are really the issue.
I name my choice to see them and set limits on that topic.
I withdraw from people and feel more isolated over time.
I see isolation as a danger sign and line up outside support now.
undefined
You hear threats about smashing things, hurting someone, or ruining your plans.
I tell myself he is just venting and try to stay calm.
I end the call when threats start and let a supporter know.
I feel dread for days and avoid sharing any news with him.
I treat threats as urgent and prepare a safety-first plan now.
undefined
You often feel responsible for regulating his moods.
I wonder if that is normal in families and look for guidance.
I remind myself his moods are not mine to manage and limit exposure.
I shape my whole day around preventing his reactions.
I fear retaliation if I stop appeasing him and plan for safety.
undefined
Belittling comments are framed as jokes at your expense.
I question whether I am too sensitive and keep it to myself.
I say humor should not degrade me and end the exchange if it does.
I internalize the comments and hear them in my own self-talk.
I worry it could escalate into more overt abuse and prepare support.
undefined
Affection or approval shows up only when you comply.
I am unsure if that is conditioning or just how he shows love.
I say my choices are not rewards-based and keep my boundary.
I stop asking for what I want and feel emotionally numb.
I view conditional affection as coercive and plan for safety options.
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Before visits or calls, you outline how you will exit if things turn tense.
I think about doing that but still doubt I need it.
I set a time limit and a phrase to end the call if needed.
I feel drained by planning and wish I could relax around him.
I arrange a safe place to go and share my plan with someone.
undefined
Day to day, you feel like you are walking on eggshells around him.
I question whether others notice, so I keep observing.
I limit time together and keep topics to low-conflict areas.
I make myself smaller and avoid sharing my real life.
I think this is unsafe and prepare to change contact quickly.
undefined
You notice a harsh inner critic that sounds like his voice.
I am just starting to connect those dots and write it down.
I challenge that voice and speak to myself with boundaries and care.
I feel shame and self-doubt that stick around for days.
I worry it comes from sustained harm and seek urgent support.
undefined
Where closeness should be, you mostly feel numb or detached.
I am unsure if numbness signals a problem and start tracking it.
I name the numbness and take brief breaks to reset nervous system.
I recognize long-term emotional fallout and seek gentle care.
I worry numbness protects me from danger and line up resources now.
undefined
He shows up uninvited to your home, work, or social spots.
I wonder if he is just being involved and keep notes of visits.
I tell him to stop and share boundaries with allies nearby.
I change my routine and feel anxious about being watched.
I treat it as stalking concerns and plan urgent safety steps.
undefined
His body language or tone is used to intimidate you into silence.
I question whether I am imagining the intimidation.
I pause the conversation and state I will return when it is calm.
I comply to avoid conflict and feel smaller afterward.
I prepare to call for help if intimidation escalates into threats.
undefined
You privately document incidents with dates, quotes, or photos.
I just started because I am unsure what I am seeing.
I use documentation to support my boundaries and decisions.
I keep records because I feel too shaken to remember clearly.
I document due to escalating risks and plan immediate next steps.
undefined
Friends say he seems nice, but they do not see what happens in private.
I doubt my perspective and look for more clarity.
I choose a trusted person to share specifics and get grounded.
I feel invisible and question my own reality later.
I worry about isolation and line up safety contacts now.
undefined
In heated talks, you decide in advance how long you will stay engaged.
I am considering time limits but have not tried them yet.
I set a timer or phrase to pause and follow through consistently.
I feel drained no matter the plan and need days to recover.
I end calls quickly if it turns hostile and contact support after.
undefined
He reframes hurtful behavior as your fault for being too sensitive.
I wonder if I am too sensitive and start reality-checking.
I say my feelings are valid and end the topic if blame continues.
I absorb the blame and hear it in my self-talk later.
I see it as manipulation and reduce contact for safety.
undefined
He pressures you to share your location at all times.
I am unsure if that is care or control; I ask others what is normal.
I decline location sharing and set a firm communication window.
I feel watched and change routes to avoid being found.
I treat it as monitoring risk and prepare safety resources now.
undefined
You notice your body tense up when his name appears on your phone.
I note the tension and wonder what it is telling me.
I choose when to respond and keep calls brief to protect my energy.
I feel dread and lose focus for hours afterward.
I screen calls for safety and have a plan if he shows up.
undefined
You are evaluating whether to keep, reduce, or pause contact.
I am collecting examples to get clear on the pattern.
I set a contact schedule and stick to it.
I reduce contact to heal and rebuild my sense of self.
I pause contact to focus on immediate safety and support.
undefined
Keeping notes of interactions can help me see patterns.
True
False
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If abuse is not physical, it cannot affect mental health.
True
False
undefined
Affection that depends on compliance is a control tactic.
True
False
undefined
It is always my job to keep the peace regardless of cost.
True
False
undefined
Feeling fear around threats is a signal to prioritize safety.
True
False
undefined
Asking for support from trusted people is a sign of weakness.
True
False
undefined
0

Profiles

Below are the outcome profiles for the Free Abusive Dad Quiz, detailing where your father's behavior falls on the spectrum from supportive to abusive, with expert tips and resources.
  1. Supportive Father Figure -

    Your results indicate minimal signs of emotional harm and a generally healthy bond. Open communication and mutual respect define this dynamic. Tip: Keep nurturing this positive relationship and use the parental emotional abuse test insights to maintain healthy boundaries.

  2. Subtle Boundary Tester -

    Your father occasionally uses sarcasm, dismisses feelings, or pushes limits in ways that leave you uneasy. While not overtly harmful, these patterns may erode trust over time. Tip: Address small slights early, and consider using an "am i being abused quiz" framework to track any escalation.

  3. Emerging Emotional Red Flags -

    Repeated criticism, unfair comparisons, or passive-aggressive comments have become more frequent. These behaviors hint at a budding abusive cycle and can affect your self-esteem. Tip: Document instances of hurtful behavior and explore resources on "my father is emotionally abusive" to affirm your feelings.

  4. Consistent Emotional Undermining -

    Your father's words often belittle your achievements, question your worth, or shift blame onto you. Such patterns align with hallmark traits of an abusive dad. Tip: Reach out to trusted friends or a counselor and consider professional guidance after taking an "am i abusive quiz" for self-reflection on relational roles.

  5. Overt Emotional Abuse -

    Hostile outbursts, intense criticism, and controlling tactics characterize this relationship. These clear warning signs point to severe emotional abuse that can harm your well-being. Tip: Prioritize your safety - connect with support hotlines, trusted adults, or mental health professionals for immediate help.

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