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Selfish Spouse Test: Is Your Partner Self-Centered?

Quick, free is my partner selfish quiz with instant, private results.

Editorial: Review CompletedCreated By: J-Man AscendingUpdated Aug 24, 2025
2-5mins
Profiles
Paper art illustration for a Selfish Spouse Test quiz on a dark blue background

This selfish spouse test helps you spot signs your partner may be putting themselves first too often. Answer a few quick questions and get simple, private pointers you can use to reflect or start a calm talk. If you're dating, try our is my boyfriend selfish quiz, or check yourself with the am i selfish quiz; you can also explore the is my partner controlling quiz.

When weekend plans clash, how does your partner typically respond?
We compare needs and craft a plan that works for both.
They sometimes forget my plans, but adjust when I remind them.
They step up if there is recognition involved; otherwise it is hit or miss.
Their preferences usually win, and I rearrange my day.
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After they mess up, what does repair look like?
Sincere apology plus concrete follow-through.
Apology comes after a nudge; follow-through happens later.
Big apology if others notice, small effort otherwise.
Defensiveness or minimization; repair rarely sticks.
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How are everyday chores handled in your home?
We share and rebalance if one of us is overloaded.
We aim to split; I sometimes remind them of their part.
They help a lot before guests arrive or when thanked publicly.
I carry most tasks; asking for help feels risky or futile.
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When you share good news, what happens?
They celebrate with curiosity and shared joy.
They are happy, though sometimes distracted until prompted.
They amplify it when it reflects well on them; muted otherwise.
Conversation shifts back to them quickly.
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How does scheduling and checking in usually work?
Shared calendar and routine check-ins keep us aligned.
We try tools; I still have to send reminders now and then.
They coordinate when there is an external deadline or reward.
I manage logistics while they assume flexibility around them.
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During conflict, how heard do you feel?
Heard and reflected; we aim to understand before solving.
Heard after I slow things down or ask for a pause.
Heard when stakes are high; otherwise they gloss over it.
Talk gets redirected to their feelings or needs, not mine.
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How are special dates (birthdays, anniversaries) handled?
We both plan and honor what matters to each other.
They forget sometimes but make amends when reminded.
They go big when others will see; minimal otherwise.
It is mostly on me to remember and plan.
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If you are sick or depleted, what support shows up?
They proactively cover tasks and check how I am doing.
They help after I spell out what I need.
They help if it affects an event or their plans; limited otherwise.
I still manage most things while they keep routine unchanged.
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Who usually initiates hard conversations about the relationship?
Both of us initiate when needed; it feels balanced.
Often me, but they engage constructively when I start.
They initiate when there is a clear benefit to them.
Usually me; they avoid or shut down when it is about my needs.
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How do financial decisions tend to go?
We discuss openly and decide together based on shared priorities.
We align most times; occasional impulse buys need a reset talk.
They are generous when it showcases them; thrifty on my needs.
They choose unilaterally and expect me to adapt.
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Public vs. private support: what is the pattern?
Supportive both privately and publicly.
Supportive overall, with occasional oversights.
Shines publicly, fades in private everyday moments.
Rarely supportive in either context unless it benefits them.
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When plans change last minute, what occurs?
We regroup and share impacts so both feel considered.
They sometimes forget to loop me in but correct it when asked.
Flexibility depends on whether it advances their goals.
Their change is final; I am expected to accommodate.
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How is appreciation expressed for routine efforts?
Frequent, mutual thanks and noticing.
Appreciation lands after prompts or reminders.
Big praise for showy acts; quiet tasks go unnoticed.
Thanks are rare; my efforts feel assumed.
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Whose needs set the daily pace?
We alternate and recalibrate based on workload and energy.
Mostly balanced, with occasional drifts we correct.
Pace shifts when there is upside for them; otherwise neutral.
Their needs dominate; mine are often postponed.
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How are boundaries handled when you say no?
Respected promptly, with curiosity and care.
Respected after some clarification or restating.
Respected when visible to others; pushed privately.
Often dismissed or reframed as being difficult.
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What happens when you request a small favor?
They do it or propose an alternative time, reliably.
They need a reminder but usually follow through.
They do it if there is a clear payoff for them.
I end up doing it myself more often than not.
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How do they respond to your success that does not involve them?
Proud and supportive, asking how to celebrate you.
Supportive but occasionally forgets to follow up later.
Supportive if it can be linked to their narrative; tepid otherwise.
They change the topic or compare to themselves.
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When you need quiet time, what happens?
They respect it and help protect the boundary.
They try to honor it after a reminder.
They honor it if it aligns with their plans to be out or busy.
They take it personally or ignore the request.
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How are shared goals tracked and adjusted?
We set check-ins and adjust together as life shifts.
We revisit sporadically; I often initiate updates.
Goals get attention when there is a milestone to showcase.
Their goals steer; mine are sidelined or delayed indefinitely.
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When disagreements end, what lingers?
Clarity, care, and a plan to do better next time.
Understanding, though we may need a follow-up later.
A promise that lasts while attention is on us, then fades.
My feelings feel unseen; the pattern repeats.
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How is intimacy initiation balanced?
We alternate and check in about timing and desire.
One of us initiates more, but the other responds with care.
Initiation spikes when it suits their schedule or image.
Their timing dictates; my signals are often overlooked.
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I downplay my needs to keep the peace.
True
False
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Only one person should make all decisions in a healthy relationship.
True
False
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My partner offers help mostly when others will notice it.
True
False
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Apologizing never repairs trust and should be avoided.
True
False
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We regularly check in about our shared commitments without me having to prompt it every time.
True
False
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In tough moments, my feelings are treated as an inconvenience.
True
False
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Celebrating a partner's win only matters if it benefits you too.
True
False
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Sharing chores evenly is impossible and not worth discussing.
True
False
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My partner adjusts their behavior when I set a clear boundary.
True
False
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Profiles

  1. Empathetic Ally -

    You aced the selfish spouse test with flying colors: your partner's happiness comes first and you intuitively meet their emotional needs. Tip: Keep nurturing your bond with weekly check-ins to reinforce open communication.

  2. Supportive Visionary -

    You score low on the relationship selfishness quiz and consistently balance your goals with your partner's desires. Tip: Try our selfish relationship behaviors test to maintain this harmony and discover fresh ways to surprise each other.

  3. Balanced Giver -

    You fall in the middle of the selfish partner quiz range - you give and take in equal measure but sometimes let stress derail you. Tip: Use the "am I selfish in my relationship" quiz regularly to stay mindful of fairness and shared responsibilities.

  4. Occasional Overlord -

    Your selfish spouse test results show occasional self-centered streaks: you sometimes prioritize personal needs over shared ones. Tip: Practice active-listening exercises and set mutual goals to counterbalance self-focused habits.

  5. Chronic Self-Seeker -

    You top the selfish partner quiz as someone who frequently puts personal interests ahead of the relationship's well-being. Tip: Consider couples therapy and empathy-building activities to shift from self to shared growth.

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