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Am I the Problem Quiz: Check Your Role in Relationship Conflicts

Quick, free relationship issues quiz. Instant results and gentle next steps.

Editorial: Review CompletedCreated By: Moutarde AlexandreUpdated Aug 23, 2025
2-5mins
Profiles
Paper art quiz illustration on relationship improvement on a golden yellow background

This Am I the Problem quiz helps you spot habits that may fuel conflict and distance in your relationship. Check your communication patterns, own your part, and get simple ideas you can try today. For more perspective, compare with our am i a good partner and am i self-sabotaging quiz, or explore the toxic relationship quiz.

When your partner says, I feel overwhelmed right now, what is your first internal impulse?
Give them space until everything cools down
Offer a step-by-step plan to reduce the overwhelm
Remind them of all the times you supported them before
Share a story about when you felt overwhelmed too
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Your partner is venting about work. They dont ask for advice. You tend to...
Become quiet and hope the topic passes
Jump in with tactics and tools to fix it
Recall who last took time off and compare fairness
Pivot to your own intense week to relate
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A disagreement starts at dinner. What feels safest in the moment?
Clearing dishes to end the conversation
Sketching a quick plan to solve the issue
Listing who has compromised more lately
Sharing a long explanation of your side from the past week
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I often change the topic when emotions rise, and later hope it blows over
True
False
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You notice a chore undone. Your default reaction is...
Say nothing and go for a walk to calm down
Create a schedule to ensure it never happens again
Quietly add it to a mental tally of who does more
Mention how busy your day was too and share your load
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When your partner tears up, you believe the most loving move is immediate advice
True
False
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In a check-in, your partner says they felt dismissed yesterday. You respond by...
Nodding, staying quiet, and suggesting a pause
Asking clarifying questions, then proposing next steps
Referencing a list of times you felt dismissed too
Explaining your intentions at length so they understand
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I often feel responsible to optimize our relationship like a project plan
True
False
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A friend praises your partner. You tend to...
Let your partner soak in it while you smile quietly
Add how they achieved it through a system you two built
Note how praise has been uneven lately between you two
Share a bigger story about your own recent win
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If I do not speak immediately, the conflict will always get worse
True
False
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Your partner asks, Can you just hear me for a minute? You usually...
Say sure and wait in silence for it to pass
Ask if they want solutions or comfort before responding
Ask if its fair to revisit how often this happens
Say yes and then connect it to your similar experience
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I believe that staying silent communicates care better than words most of the time
True
False
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During apology talks, what do you reach for first?
A breather, then maybe text later
Action items to ensure it wont repeat
Evidence of past apologies to keep it balanced
A clear narrative of your intentions and context
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If I dont highlight my own experience during their share, it will be ignored
True
False
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Your partner says, I dont want solutions. I want to feel understood. You...
Stay quiet, afraid youll say it wrong
Reflect back their words before offering any ideas
Ask what would make it feel fair for both of you
Share a parallel moment to show you get it
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Silence is never a form of defensiveness
True
False
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In group conversations, your habit is to...
Hang back and observe until its safe to chime in
Organize the thread and offer solutions to each point
Track who is being heard more and try to even it out
Steer stories back to a moment you can speak to
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I often tally unspoken IOUs to keep things fair over time
True
False
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A text argument starts. Your move?
Stop responding and suggest talking later
Send bullet points with fixes and deadlines
Screenshot earlier texts to show the pattern
Voice note a long story that explains your side
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Fairness means everything should be split exactly 50/50, all the time
True
False
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When your partner shares a win, your instinct is to...
Smile, say nice, and move on to the next topic
Offer a method to repeat that success reliably
Note how wins and credit have been distributed lately
Share a bigger or funnier win of your own to bond
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I rarely interrupt because I prefer to listen more than speak
True
False
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When plans change last minute, you...
Withdraw to avoid saying something sharp
Propose a quick re-plan with options A, B, C
Ask whose turn it is to compromise this time
Launch into how this affects your schedule story
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Solutions given without being asked are always appreciated
True
False
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In a tough talk, what is your body most likely to do?
Freeze and look for an exit
Lean forward, ready to troubleshoot
Straighten up, preparing receipts and examples
Expand gestures as you explain your side fully
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If I do not keep track, I will end up doing everything
True
False
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When you feel misunderstood, your go-to is...
Say, Can we pause? I need a minute
Ask two clarifying questions, then suggest a fix
Point out past times you were misunderstood too
Restate your narrative in greater detail
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It is impossible to overtalk someone during a heartfelt moment
True
False
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At the first sign of conflict, what thought pops up?
Disappear now, deal later
This can be fixed if we organize it
Is this fair compared with last time?
Wait, let me explain my angle fully
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During your partners story, you often feel a strong urge to add your example right away
True
False
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Profiles

  1. Miscommunication Maven -

    You discovered through our am i the problem in my relationship quiz that you often assume you're on the same page without checking first, leading to crossed wires. You have a habit of filling in gaps rather than asking questions. Tip: Practice active listening by summarizing what you hear before responding.

  2. Silent Strategist -

    Answering what am i doing wrong in my relationship may have uncovered your tendency to internalize issues. You replay scenarios in your head instead of sharing them with your partner. Tip: Schedule a weekly check-in to voice concerns before they fester.

  3. Conflict Avoider -

    Our relationship issues quiz shows you're great at smoothing things over but struggle with direct conversations. Avoiding conflict can cause unresolved tension to build. Tip: Approach tough topics with "We need to talk" cues and set a calm time to chat.

  4. Perfection Pursuer -

    The relationship problems quiz results suggest you set high standards for yourself and your partner, making you quick to criticize small slip-ups. This perfectionism can create stress for both of you. Tip: Celebrate progress by acknowledging three things your partner does well each day.

  5. Boundary Blurrer -

    Taking am i the problem in my marriage quiz may have revealed your struggle to assert personal needs, which can lead to silent frustration. You fear upsetting the balance, so you adapt at your own expense. Tip: Practice stating your needs with "I need" statements to set healthy boundaries.

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