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Narcissistic Mother Test: Is My Mom a Narcissist?

Quick, free narcissist mom quiz to spot patterns. Instant results.

Editorial: Review CompletedCreated By: Lucas PessoaUpdated Aug 25, 2025
2-5mins
Profiles
Paper art illustration for narcissistic traits quiz about mom on golden yellow background

This narcissistic mother test helps you notice patterns like control, blame shifting, and low empathy, so you can better understand what's happening at home. For wider context, compare results with our narcissistic parent test, explore overlapping behaviors in the is my mom toxic quiz, or see if similar traits show up elsewhere with the narcissistic father quiz.

When you set a clear boundary with your mother, what outcome feels most familiar?
She becomes angry or wounded and tries to make me feel guilty.
She says she understands but later tests or erodes the boundary.
I soften the boundary or over-explain to keep the peace.
We discuss it and generally respect it going forward.
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How does your mother respond to your achievements compared with her own image or needs?
She centers herself, competes, or minimizes my role.
She is proud at times but also critical if it outshines her.
I downplay my wins to avoid drama.
She celebrates me without strings attached.
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During holidays or milestones, what pattern shows up most?
Control, image-management, and blowups if plans do not fit her vision.
Warmth if I comply; coolness if I assert needs.
I become the peacemaker, smoothing tension at my expense.
Shared planning, flexibility, and repair after stress.
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After she hurts your feelings, what does repair typically look like?
No acknowledgment; blame-shifting or denial instead.
A partial apology that includes excuses or conditions.
I apologize to move on, even if I was hurt.
A clear apology and change in behavior.
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How are your boundaries around privacy (journals, phone, personal space) treated?
Regularly ignored or violated, often justified as caring.
Usually respected, but crossed when it suits her needs.
I hide or downplay to avoid conflict if discovered.
Consistently respected without pressure or prying.
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When she gives support or gifts, what feels most true?
Strings attached; later used to control or demand loyalty.
Support varies; generous sometimes, conditional other times.
I accept to keep peace, then over-give in return.
Freely given, not weaponized or tallied.
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When recalling past conflicts, what happens to the story?
My memory is dismissed; history is rewritten to protect her image.
She acknowledges some details but reframes key parts to lessen impact.
I doubt myself and second-guess my recollection to avoid friction.
We compare perspectives and find shared understanding.
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How different is her public behavior from private interactions with you?
Polished and kind in public, critical or cruel in private.
Warm in public, unpredictable in private depending on control.
I manage her moods so others will not see the shift.
Generally consistent across settings.
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When you are ill, grieving, or overwhelmed, how does she respond?
Minimizes, redirects to her needs, or competes for attention.
Comforts if it aligns with her schedule; withdraws if it does not.
I mask my needs to avoid burdening or upsetting her.
Offers steady empathy and practical help without drama.
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What best describes how conflicts end?
Punishment or silent treatment until I fall back in line.
Temporary calm, but the same pattern repeats later.
I placate, apologize, or change the topic to restore peace.
We debrief, repair, and adjust for next time.
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How often are you compared to siblings or peers, and how does it land?
Frequent comparisons used to shame or control.
Mixed messages: praise one day, cutting comparisons the next.
I overperform or self-silence to avoid being compared.
Rare and not weaponized; feedback stays specific to me.
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How is your autonomy around money, career, or education treated?
Support is contingent; help becomes leverage and control.
Encouraging at times but disapproving if choices diverge from her image.
I choose safer options to avoid backlash.
My choices are respected even when we disagree.
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When you share something personal, what is the typical outcome?
It may be used later to shame, gossip, or regain control.
Sometimes held with care, other times leaked if it benefits her.
I self-censor or keep it surface-level to stay safe.
It stays confidential and is met with empathy.
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How often does she triangulate, pulling others into your conflicts?
Common; she recruits allies and paints me as the problem.
Occasional; usually to nudge me back into compliance.
I do damage control and reassure everyone to calm the waters.
Rare; conflicts stay direct and contained.
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What happens when you say no to a request?
Retaliation, guilt trips, or accusations of being ungrateful.
Tense silence or pressure that eventually pushes me to say yes.
I backtrack to avoid escalation, offering compromises I cannot afford.
Boundary accepted; we negotiate respectfully if needed.
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When you express feelings, what response is most familiar?
Dismissal, ridicule, or flipping the script to focus on her pain.
Empathy sometimes; other times I am told I am too sensitive.
I minimize or reframe my emotions to keep things smooth.
My feelings are heard, validated, and discussed calmly.
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How does she respond to your growing independence (moves, relationships, boundaries)?
Sabotage, competition, or guilt when I differentiate.
Support if it reflects well on her; pushback if it does not.
I preemptively choose smaller steps to avoid upsetting her.
Proud support, even with mixed feelings.
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What best captures her relationship with your boundaries over time?
Tests, overrides, or punishes them consistently.
Acknowledges them but negotiates them away later.
I over-explain, apologize, or make exceptions to keep peace.
Respects limits and adjusts behavior accordingly.
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How are family narratives about you shaped and shared?
She curates stories that make me look difficult or ungrateful.
Mixed portrayals that shift with her mood and audience.
I try to fix perceptions by being overly agreeable.
Stories are fair, balanced, and open to correction.
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When she posts about family on social media, what is the vibe?
Image-first perfection that contradicts private reality.
Mostly loving but sometimes performative when it suits her.
I play along to avoid pushback or public drama.
Accurate, respectful, and not used for leverage.
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How does she handle your mistakes or failures?
Shaming, comparisons, or reminders of how I inconvenienced her.
Support if it is private; critical if it risks her reputation.
I rush to fix and over-apologize to prevent fallout.
Curiosity, empathy, and collaborative problem-solving.
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Silent treatment is a healthy way to resolve conflict.
True
False
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Praise that depends on performance can feel unsafe over time.
True
False
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Setting a boundary is the same as being disrespectful.
True
False
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Consistency check-ins after visits can help you gauge impact on your well-being.
True
False
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It is impossible to love a parent and limit contact.
True
False
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Gaslighting can make you doubt your memory and perceptions.
True
False
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You must provide unlimited access to your time to prove family loyalty.
True
False
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Documenting patterns can reduce self-doubt when you are second-guessing yourself.
True
False
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All family conflict indicates narcissism.
True
False
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Profiles

  1. Compassionate Collaborator -

    Your results on the is my mother a narcissist quiz suggest a nurturing mom who listens, shows empathy, and respects boundaries, fostering trust and healthy communication. Tip: Continue to express gratitude and keep the dialogue open.

  2. Subtle Puppet Master -

    The narcissistic mother test indicates mild manipulation - she may use guilt or passive-aggression to influence your choices. Recognizing this pattern is key. Tip: Set clear limits and practice assertive responses.

  3. Spotlight Seeker -

    High scores on the is my mother a narcissist quiz suggest she craves attention, often overshadowing your achievements to remain the center of her world, which can erode your self-esteem. Tip: Celebrate your wins privately or with supportive friends to maintain confidence.

  4. Emotional Chameleon -

    This outcome in the narcissistic mom quiz points to unpredictable affection - warm one moment, cold the next - creating emotional confusion. Understanding her shifting moods can help you anticipate triggers. Tip: Keep a journal of interactions to spot triggers and prepare coping strategies.

  5. Covert Enforcer -

    Your results on this is my mom a narcissist quiz reveal covert narcissistic behaviors - she enforces control through guilt trips and silent treatments rather than overt criticism, undermining your autonomy. Tip: Establish firm boundaries and seek external support when needed.

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